Author: dinah1995

Spoilt For Choices

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We are in a time where everything is abundant, everywhere. So much to choose from; so many options listed. Infinite possibilities and opportunities. It just makes the decision-making more complex.

From movies, series, documentaries, short films, and more on different OTT platforms sitting in the comfort of our homes, cuisines so varied from various online food delivery applications and restaurants just a click away, multiple social media apps to switch back and forth for entertainment: the list looks endless.

Isn’t it funny, inspiring, and at the same time amazing how we get exotic items from these new grocery and food delivery applications! From meat to mustard, vegetables to veg pakodas, fruits to fresh fish, varied kinds of cheese, chocolates, mixes, and sauces door delivered. Products we probably would not have gotten even from established supermarkets earlier are available, just a click away.

Everything is so effortlessly available. Everything has become accessible. Just a few clicks away! Netflix, Amazon Prime, Disney Hotstar, Sony Liv, Voot, what not! Not to mention how we get tired just by surfing these apps for what to watch!

This choice game we play has significantly and seriously affected how we as a generation perceive life and relationships. If we think on a deeper level, from relationships, career opportunities, education, even pass-time, vacation destinations, and more, today we have more options to choose from than it was earlier.

While being progressive are we losing the real essence and value of things and most importantly emotions? Are we bombarded with multiple options to choose from and being blinded by selfish actions most often unnoticed? Are we given the luxury of selecting and picking what we like, or are we made to believe that hopping from one choice to another is as effortless as switching channels while also sometimes letting go of quality?

It’s alright to go with the flow and be amid the progress we are making globally. However, we must never lose the essence of it all. The little things, the little emotions, that’s what we need to remember to pass on to the next generation.

Enjoy being spoilt for choices. Appreciate being able to enjoy a lifestyle loaded with luxury with the comfort of technology, science, and advancement, while maintaining humility and being humane, kind, and never forgetting the roots.

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Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness

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As the famous saying goes, being clean and honest inside and out keeps you closer to positivity and goodness. It is significant to preserve your heart and mind uncorrupted, stress-free, and optimistic. It helps in being calm, confident, and successful in everything you do.

There are various things you could do to keep that positivity shining in your life. Little things daily, making them your habits and routine, can go a long way. Do try and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Eat right. Exercise and stay active. Watch movies, series, shows you will be inspired by. Read books that can influence you, and listen to the music that you love and that can make a difference for you. You have different phases in life, for your moods and emotions. And each of those times, you may have different choice of songs, movies, books that influence us and impact us. What you feed yourself is what you will grow up to look and be.

Let go of the past. Do not hold grudges. Do not harbour negative thoughts within. It will destroy you eventually. Make sure nothing deserves extra space in your precious mind. Maintain sanity and do not lose your cool in unwanted situations.

Practice cleanliness at home. Keeping your home clean does most of the job. It not only radiates positivity inside the house but also within you. Simple things like changing the bed sheets every week, keeping the wardrobe clutter-free, not hoarding leftovers inside the fridge, and so on.

Meditate – not just for mental health but also for your skin. Practice a healthy skin regime. Drink plenty of water and stay hydrated. Eat fresh fruits and vegetables for that extra glow. Make sure you feed yourself with everything good that you glow from within.

Take an effort to be of help. Helping someone can instill a sense of liberation, satisfaction, self-confidence, and self-esteem. This gesture gives you a sense of purpose, also feel good about yourself.

Smile and be joyful. Laugh when you feel like it, be polite, be happy and loud. Life is not to sit quietly. It is to celebrate. Make sure you celebrate life each day, every day.

Doing the right things one step at a time can help you achieve not just a lifestyle of health and positivity, but a body so fresh, a mind so calm, a heart so joyful, and you so happy and content.

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What About The Mother

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Everyone’s cheerful. Everyone’s eagerly awaiting to see the newborn! Is it going to be a boy or a girl? Is the baby going to be healthy? Will she/he latch properly? How much will they weigh? What colour? What time, What date? So much speculation and anticipation about the arrival and the early days of a baby! BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MOTHER?

I recently read a small write-up on the gram and was truly touched. Being a new mom myself, I related to the content. I am inspired to share it with others who did not get the opportunity to read it and those who need to fully understand that motherhood and being a mom are not all smiles and happiness all the time as portrayed in the movies, reels, and on the tube. 

Not all mothers are asked if they are keeping well. Not all mothers are asked if they ate, want water, need help, or a break. 

The article started, “everyone wants to hold the baby, but who holds the mother?”

With all the hormonal changes, the arrival of the baby, and the life-changing experience of labour, the new mother has already gone through so much stress, pressure, and anxiety. There’s hardly any time to bond with her new baby, let alone have time to breathe and take care of herself weeks or even months after delivery! 

From all the unsolicited advice and “gyaan” from different people, the inconsolable crying of the baby, not-so-understanding family, and many many changes in her body, what a mother most needs is attention, care, and space for herself. She deserves it too. She needs time to heal her body and mind. She needs to prepare for motherhood. She needs to breastfeed which is not as easy as many think it is – it is painful, uncomfortable, and taken for granted. 

From guilt, fear, stress, anxiety, sudden bursts of crying, emotional fluctuations, mental breakdowns, lack of self-confidence, and changes in the body, a mother goes through so much that not only are they less understood, but they are constantly provoked and forced to suppress their feelings despite having no reason to do so. 

From being body shamed for putting on weight, going on a guilt trip for not lactating, feeling sorry and sad when the baby cries, feeling drowsy and suffocated due to lack of sleep, and having to not just be there for her baby, but her family, relatives, husband, house, office, her career; she’s not given a second to pause and take a breather. 

Her back aches but no one’s there to massage her and give her some time to unwind. Her stomach grumbles but she needs to feed the baby, her cravings for ice cream can’t be met, her sleep has to be compromised, her body is bloated, her breasts change shape and size every two days, her face dulls, her hair falls, her hands shake and her eyes tear, but she stays a mom and she’s got no way out. 

Be her escape. Be the change. Be there for her. Tell her she’s doing fine. Tell her she’s strong. You never know what such small acts of kindness can do to a new mom. Maternity leave is not for her to care for the baby alone, but to heal and be there for herself too. Understand her and make her smile. Gift her something nice and do not advise. Share what you know and do listen to her. You are not only helping her as a mother but the baby too by helping her be a better mother.

As everyone’s eager to hold the baby; you hold the mother. 

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Love Not Love No More

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Everything was a lie!
All the promises, 
Future dreams and the couple's goals:
Oh! The fake smiles and 
Kisses were real! 
Everything was a high,
All daydreaming and blushing…
Oh, the loud shouts and 
The bruises were surreal!
Everything was not meant to be!
We imagined them to be.
What an irony! 
Why was everything not fine?
As it ages, it gets better,
Is that just for the wines?
Not for romantic lines?
Is that only for drugs,
Not for genuine hugs?
What an irony! 
Where has all the love gone?
Into the woods, the deep blue sea? 
Where has all the wisdom gone?
Love not Love no more you see! 
True love perhaps lost its way
Finding in this generation no interest! 
What an irony! 
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Art Of Caring For Your Baby

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Babies…They are adorable. Cute, noisy, funny, and cranky all at the same time. They grow up so fast that one day there comes a time, the inevitable happens and, it will be the last day you pick them up! Terrifying and captivating at the same time.

Being a mom, all one can do is be there for your baby. It is all we can do. Babies are like adhesive, clingy all the time, for up to a certain span, and can we blame them for it. They need attention and engagement. They learn through our interactions and need time to comprehend and start exploring things on their own.

Time. That’s what we have to offer our babies. They need help with everything. They need warmth, care, love, and everything you can provide them. So when your baby demands you to hold them, hold them. If they want you to pick them up, pick them up. It sounds simple, but we tend to overlook it. Let’s sing to them, read to them, and talk to them. Let’s do it. Simple as that.

Let us face it. Many say holding your baby for too long, making him sleep on your chest, and patting will spoil them. However, the fact is, before you realise, our babies will stop asking us for all this, and you will miss them stalking you to the bathroom!

Holding your baby or swaying him to sleep will not pamper them. It creates a beautiful bond between a mother and baby. Recent studies show that kangaroo care, also called skin-to-skin contact, is a technique where babies are held chest to chest or skin to skin with a parent. In this fast-paced gen Z, connections, bonds, the value of relationships, and such aspects of life, are missed, forgotten, and omitted. So, let’s make it a point to rekindle that forgotten and highly understated essence of touch and warmth in a baby’s early years of life.

Not only does this help bond with your baby, but it is furthermore medically beneficial to our babies. This method of caring for your baby can stabilize the heart and respiratory (breathing) rates, improve oxygen saturation rates, better regulate body temperature and conserve our baby’s calories.

Holding and touching your baby improves their brain development and helps them mature, and, grow physically, emotionally, and intellectually. So next time you have someone criticizing you for holding your baby and “spoiling” your baby, enlighten them with these facts.

Along with this, reading to your baby, talking to them, and having good conversations with your baby. (even though they may not understand a word you say) They catch on to your expressions and react. They converse with sounds and reactions. Chatter about sound topics around your baby, pray with them, sing songs, dance for them, play with them, kiss them often, show them around, love them, and display what it is like to be who you’ve become and who they are to you…

It is important to say goodbye to myths and start understanding what is required for YOU, your baby, and both the development of a newborn baby and a new mother/father.

Happy Baby Days!

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A Warriors Heart

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Scarred but not broken,
Shattered but not destroyed.
Quiet but not a victim,
Strong but not rude.
I am all things God
Made me be.
I am strong, beautiful
And more than enough:
I am powerful and
A warrior from within;
Married to the significance of nature,
Demeaned by mere men;
Not understood by many,
Loved by a few,
Hurt by a million small parts
Of instances, incidents, people
And expectations of this sheer heart!
Scarred but not broken,
Shattered but not destroyed.
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Make Peace A Priority

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It is essential to hold our ground, know our thoughts, take our stand and make peace our priority. It is easy to lose cool, go astray, feel worthless, rebel and destroy our vibe. Only to later discover what a wasted effort and time it had all been!

Keeping calm is a universal mantra that is perhaps so underrated in this world of impulsive minds. Smart-phones taking over our minds, social media taking over our lives, we have become meer puppets with no real values to keep up to. Everything has become such a sham, everything is just a show. This is why we need to understand that making peace with who we are, what we are doing, how we are feeling will help us find ourselves in the deeper realms.

We must not, for anything in this world, lose our calm and peace of mind. Let us be a little selfish, be a little upfront – and it’s alright. For our peace is in our hands. Let us not just look for calmness in the open vastness of the ocean but in the deeper darkness of ourselves. Let us not search for happiness in the mysterious spheres of the universe, but in the laughter, joy, emotions and the very inner being of ourselves. Letting go can help in the whole process. Let go of hurt and find the path to healing. This is one way we can keep our peace. Not holding grudges, not judging people, minding our own business, drinking a lot of water and being content in life are a few things we can do to hold on to our peace. 

Finding peace must be a habit, an unconscious tendency, a part of our lifestyle. Let us learn to protect our peace – at all cost.

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Ivaans Mumma

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I love who I am today. It is surreal, the whole experience. This whole motherhood chapter. As if something has drastically changed – priorities, pass-time, likes, preferences, lifestyle, habits, myself!

I gave birth to a prince. I gave birth to Ivaan, whose name my partner and I chose for him during one of our very happy evening walks.

The experience of child labour was nothing short of a natural miracle. One can only imagine how it would be. It started like regular abdominal cramps and went unbelievably unbearable. However, all the traumatic minutes I spent in the labour ward were all worth it the moment I saw his little face. Too scared and overwhelmed, I remember touching his forehead with my index finger when he was brought to me first.

I am enjoying every bit of this journey. Looking forward to many more beautiful moments that I will be able to capture in my heart and mind forever!

I never expected myself to become who I am today. From a girl who knew nothing about handling children to a woman dreaming dreams for her younger one, I have matured.

I am going to relish this journey the most because these precious moments are not constant. Time flies, days pass by, children grow up, we live our lives and things don’t remain the same forever. Before I can even imagine, my little boy will become not so little anymore. He will one day not fit into my arms, he will one day grow up and drink his milk on his own, one day he will wave at me and go on trips, one day he will not be next to me, touching me or sleeping on me. As much as I am happy for him to grow up and be the man he’s destined to be, I am also trying to live this life when he’s so innocently little, relishing and enjoying his little milestones.

My little man Ivaan has completed me as a woman. I am happy to be his Mumma. I am happy to live life to fit his needs and desires into mine. I am excited to dream big for and with my boy. I am ready to be the mom I am purposed to be.

I love who I am today – Ivaan’s Mumma, partner, buddy, well-wisher, mentor, teacher, and above all, his best friend!

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Three Months of Being Pregnant

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I didn’t go through the nine to ten months of pregnancy like most women do – quite literally. I discovered the pregnancy only during my fifth month, so I didn’t notice the suffering of the first trimester and its nauseating consequences! I noticed quickening and that’s where my journey of being pregnant started. That’s what I felt first about the whole deal.

On the 4th of September 2021, I went for my first ultrasound scan. There I saw the person growing inside me. A little human being inside me that all this while I did not notice. What I saw overwhelmed me. I instantly cried. My emotions were driving me to a state that I have never felt before. I am an emotional person and what I saw, I can never forget. The first time I saw the baby, it yawned. When I saw the baby yawn inside my belly, I decided it was going to be just fine – it was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. That was when I told myself that this was part of my destiny for sure.

It was then I came back to tell myself that I am going to get so ready for this baby. I quite didn’t have any expectations. I did think it would be a girl and even thought of a name – Tiah! I somehow could not come up with a boy’s name. I was somehow sure it was going to be a girl.

I watched my tummy grow. I could not believe it. I remember imagining how it would be when I was much younger. It was all about curiosity. Curious to know how, when, what and why of pregnancy, delivery, postpartum, raising a child, handling babies, baby songs, baby movies, and everything related to being a new parent. I taught myself many things. I researched, watched videos, read articles, watched interviews, spoke to new parents, and consulted with my doctor with whom I bombarded all my questions. I did everything possible I could have. I remember waking the baby with little pats on my belly and feeling him kick! It was out of this world! Those feelings make you so vulnerable and emotional and it is the most beautiful sensation of all times.

I began to not fit into the clothes I was flaunting a few months back. I started eating more. At that time, I did not particularly think much about the weight I was accumulating. I wanted the baby to be healthy especially because I did not provide him with the right medication and care he was supposed to get during the initial stages of pregnancy. There were minor complications due to lifestyle and negligence of health earlier, but we were fine.

I was not sure how to prepare myself, the house, my Marley the Lhasa Apso, my room, my partner, my parents, my sister, or the environment to welcome the baby. I was lucky to have one of my best friends, Aishwarya who was a new mom herself, by my side from day one of knowing about the pregnancy to guide me and tell me what and what not to do and expect during the whole process.

I remember feeling excited and scared at the same time when the doctor said she was going to induce my labour on the 2nd of December 2021. On the last day of being pregnant, we celebrated by going for dinner at one of my favourite restaurants. On the 1st of December, we cut a beautiful baby-themed cake Aishwarya brought for me and went to the hospital to get admitted.

Things fell into place – at the right pace, at the right time, just perfectly aligned with the Universe.

To be continued…

Read Part 1 – How it started
Read Part 2 – Surprised or Shocked

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Surprised or Shocked

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After all the Pandemic pressure and freedom to find myself on a deeper level, I was struck by something very unexpected.

It was the last day of August when I decided to go to a gynaecologist to check how my Polycystic Ovarian Disease, or PCOD was doing. I was unwell for a while and the situation was such that we thought it was Covid. Well, guess what, I had already come through my first trimester by then!

The scan which was supposed to be done to check how my PCOD was, ended up showing me that I was five months pregnant! Surprised or Shocked? I couldn’t decide then.

I was absolutely not ready to be who I was going to be, who I am today. I remember being completely shut down, spoke quite little, contemplated how it is all going to be, how I am going to transform, whether I was indeed ready for this transformation; angry at myself for not knowing my body well enough, happy that I was chosen despite having severe PCOD issues – a lot of different thoughts.

I suddenly matured – started constantly keeping the room clean, folding blankets, keeping the house tidy, behaving responsibly with medication, took more care of what I ate, how much water I drank, basically took more care of myself. It was a mixture of emotions, good, bad, ugly, satisfying, parallel – mood swings like never before, tantrums so childish, cravings of shawarma like never before, fear, anxiety, heaviness along with smiles, eagerness, excitement of some sort, joy, I don’t know what not!

I still can’t decide – Surprised or Shocked?

To be continued…

Read Part 1 – How it started

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