Inspirational

Whats In The Mountains

/ msveenagupta / 22 Comments

Today, is not a regular day. It is monsoon. It’s raining with a drip drop here and there. Beautifully cloudy and pleasant. Almost Romantic! It feels like falling in love all over again and again and again. And my heart craves to go to the mountains. The beauty that it holds at this time is simply infatuating!

I live in the plateaus, and the mountains here are the Sahyadri Ranges which are beautiful and transform into descended heavens during Monsoons. Oh! did I mention it has just started raining. The grass here is soft, tender, and it has a light shade of green, yet almost fluorescent. It’s such a refreshing sight and you feel like rolling down the slope. It’s surreal!

I have never been a Mountain-person. I have always enjoyed beaches more. Beaches, calm you and steer you now and then to take a break, put your feet down to sit, relax, enjoy a cool beer in hand, look at the sunset and live in the moment. However, the mountains; however I believe they have something different in them.

The Mountains tell us a different story. They tell you to keep moving, be alert, be focused, and stop now and then, to see how far you have come, enjoy the valley, the peaks, and the quiet. Yet never let your guard down, a misstep, and you are destined for a fall, or your LIFE will be at risk.

Standing tall is like a metaphor for life itself. Its heights are so intimidating and make all your life’s problems look so small, inconspicuous. Just like life will promise you, its sudden ups and downs, highs and lows, take you through good times and bad; so are the mountains. They will promise you a peak and a valley at the same time!

My first experience with the mountains was when I went on my first ever ‘Trek’. I didn’t even know what it meant or what to expect out of it. Life, at that time, had been rough. Teenage years with student loans, bad finances, love triangles, peer pressure, heartbreaks, and all. Nonetheless, I signed up for it. It meant going up one peak, crossing fourteen smaller peaks to reach another significant mountain peak! There were small streams, forest patches, peaks, cliffs, valleys, sudden drops, waterfalls, shaky ground, reptiles, fireflies….everything. I saw everything, and I saw YETI!!

Man, I had the time of my life, I re-experienced everything that had occurred in my life until then, highs, lows, times when I wanted to give up, times when it felt like a breeze, times when I had realizations and revelations about myself, times I hurt myself, times when I still picked up. Times when I was leading and times when I was the last. It took me everything I had in me to conquer and reach my destination. At the end of the day, I was done, empty, exhausted, dirty, and hungry! But it felt peaceful. It felt great. It felt like I achieved something. As if I learned a great deal about myself! As if I met myself for the first time. I never knew I had so much stamina, patience, and resilience. I learned that I could live with so much less. And to tell you the truth, the view from the top is simply P-H-E-N-O-M-E-N-A-L.

It’s worth everything you struggled for. Something you would never experience had you not toiled throughout the journey. It’s like a PRIZE for all the hard work you did all along and trusted the journey. And trust me, it’s worth the wait! You get to see all your journey in a flash and why it was so difficult all this while. You never understand that when you are in the process, but it all makes sense when you reach the TOP. It’s like the dots connected somehow.

How did I see Yeti, you ask? Well, Yeti, by definition, is said to be an ape-like creature purported to inhabit the Himalayan Mountain range, an Abominable Snowman! I was not supposed to find it in the Sahyadri’s. But think about it, Yeti is a mythical creature, 8-15 feet tall, hairy, lives in the woods, abominable, yet he never comes back to civilisation. Why would someone come up with such a definition of it? Does anyone know its gender? Think about it.

Maybe, the Yeti is in all of us. Our higher self, our real self, our consciousness? Who I met in the woods was my higher self, my self-realization (described as 15 feet tall), I was covered in dust (hairy/unkempt), close to nature (lives in woods), terrible looking (abominable), yet peaceful, not wanting to come back to my stressful life back home (never comes back to civilization). And the yeti’s gender is undefined, much like our higher consciousness.

Yeti is us. You and me. It lives in us. But belongs to the mountains. It wants to remain there, and live a simple life. More aware of every moment and breath, much like a lot of us who get routinely tired by city life, the humdrum, the stress, and the meaninglessness of this all.

I believe, every being, needs to experience the Mountains in their raw form. Trek if you can, commute if you can’t, but experience the Mountains for once. Even if your bio does not read ‘an avid traveller’, you must experience the mountains at least once. I promise, you will meet yourself; you will meet the yeti in you. The Mountains can make you look small, yet grow within yourself. The very times when you navigate tricky terrains, like where it is a question of life and death, that is when all your survival instincts kick in, and all your senses come alive. This is the time when you feel alive in every cell of your body. This is the highest level of awareness and focuses on your experience. You are aware of every breath, every sense, and every touch in your body. This is where you learn, what matters and what does not. The Mountains teach you that you need so less to be so happy. The Mountains teach you about life. It takes you back to basics and yet you feel so rich, so accomplished, so poor and yet so wealthy.

Experience life like it should be. Go back to basics, go back to yeti, go back to the Mountains!

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Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness

/ dinah1995 / Leave a comment

As the famous saying goes, being clean and honest inside and out keeps you closer to positivity and goodness. It is significant to preserve your heart and mind uncorrupted, stress-free, and optimistic. It helps in being calm, confident, and successful in everything you do.

There are various things you could do to keep that positivity shining in your life. Little things daily, making them your habits and routine, can go a long way. Do try and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Eat right. Exercise and stay active. Watch movies, series, shows you will be inspired by. Read books that can influence you, and listen to the music that you love and that can make a difference for you. You have different phases in life, for your moods and emotions. And each of those times, you may have different choice of songs, movies, books that influence us and impact us. What you feed yourself is what you will grow up to look and be.

Let go of the past. Do not hold grudges. Do not harbour negative thoughts within. It will destroy you eventually. Make sure nothing deserves extra space in your precious mind. Maintain sanity and do not lose your cool in unwanted situations.

Practice cleanliness at home. Keeping your home clean does most of the job. It not only radiates positivity inside the house but also within you. Simple things like changing the bed sheets every week, keeping the wardrobe clutter-free, not hoarding leftovers inside the fridge, and so on.

Meditate – not just for mental health but also for your skin. Practice a healthy skin regime. Drink plenty of water and stay hydrated. Eat fresh fruits and vegetables for that extra glow. Make sure you feed yourself with everything good that you glow from within.

Take an effort to be of help. Helping someone can instill a sense of liberation, satisfaction, self-confidence, and self-esteem. This gesture gives you a sense of purpose, also feel good about yourself.

Smile and be joyful. Laugh when you feel like it, be polite, be happy and loud. Life is not to sit quietly. It is to celebrate. Make sure you celebrate life each day, every day.

Doing the right things one step at a time can help you achieve not just a lifestyle of health and positivity, but a body so fresh, a mind so calm, a heart so joyful, and you so happy and content.

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Art Of Caring For Your Baby

/ dinah1995 / 1 Comment

Babies…They are adorable. Cute, noisy, funny, and cranky all at the same time. They grow up so fast that one day there comes a time, the inevitable happens and, it will be the last day you pick them up! Terrifying and captivating at the same time.

Being a mom, all one can do is be there for your baby. It is all we can do. Babies are like adhesive, clingy all the time, for up to a certain span, and can we blame them for it. They need attention and engagement. They learn through our interactions and need time to comprehend and start exploring things on their own.

Time. That’s what we have to offer our babies. They need help with everything. They need warmth, care, love, and everything you can provide them. So when your baby demands you to hold them, hold them. If they want you to pick them up, pick them up. It sounds simple, but we tend to overlook it. Let’s sing to them, read to them, and talk to them. Let’s do it. Simple as that.

Let us face it. Many say holding your baby for too long, making him sleep on your chest, and patting will spoil them. However, the fact is, before you realise, our babies will stop asking us for all this, and you will miss them stalking you to the bathroom!

Holding your baby or swaying him to sleep will not pamper them. It creates a beautiful bond between a mother and baby. Recent studies show that kangaroo care, also called skin-to-skin contact, is a technique where babies are held chest to chest or skin to skin with a parent. In this fast-paced gen Z, connections, bonds, the value of relationships, and such aspects of life, are missed, forgotten, and omitted. So, let’s make it a point to rekindle that forgotten and highly understated essence of touch and warmth in a baby’s early years of life.

Not only does this help bond with your baby, but it is furthermore medically beneficial to our babies. This method of caring for your baby can stabilize the heart and respiratory (breathing) rates, improve oxygen saturation rates, better regulate body temperature and conserve our baby’s calories.

Holding and touching your baby improves their brain development and helps them mature, and, grow physically, emotionally, and intellectually. So next time you have someone criticizing you for holding your baby and “spoiling” your baby, enlighten them with these facts.

Along with this, reading to your baby, talking to them, and having good conversations with your baby. (even though they may not understand a word you say) They catch on to your expressions and react. They converse with sounds and reactions. Chatter about sound topics around your baby, pray with them, sing songs, dance for them, play with them, kiss them often, show them around, love them, and display what it is like to be who you’ve become and who they are to you…

It is important to say goodbye to myths and start understanding what is required for YOU, your baby, and both the development of a newborn baby and a new mother/father.

Happy Baby Days!

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Your Best Friend at Work

/ Naveeta Shokeen / Leave a comment

Human Resource refers to the folks who recruit you, give you mountains of paperwork to fill out, and offer you a job and who one day may dismiss you. For many reasons, including if you are underperforming, and or if the company wants to restructure or make a change. So, it’s probable for many to believe bypassing Human Resource or HR is the safest way to achieve success!!! Just keep off their grid and everything will be OK. However, have you ever thought, your Human Resource Department or HR is more than just the policies, process, procedures, and systematising arms of management that you may have previously thought of it to be. Let’s dive in to the ocean to know how HR can be your best buddy at the workplace. 

1. Crafting a Career Plan

You may have heard that human resources are primarily concerned with the success of the firm and not the careers of individual workers. True, but the firm will fail if it does not have competent workers, and good employees desire to further their careers. Frequently, your HR manager may assist you sketch out the road to your final objective. If you are targeting a higher position, they can assist you in identifying your weaknesses and strengths, as well as guiding you along the appropriate career options. In addition, when the senior leadership team says, “We need someone to perform X role,” your name will be more likely to be included if you have shown interest to HR.

2. Leaking information

Some large corporations offer anonymous tip lines for any breaches seen, while others have a designated contact person. However, you may also go in and speak with HR about this. You may report any safety or security infractions to your company’s HR department. They will initiate an inquiry.

3. Support You in Navigating the Legal System

HR managers shouldn’t be confused with employment law lawyers, but they should have a fundamental understanding of employment law. If a colleague reports that her supervisor is behaving inapproporiately, you may seek guidance from HR and file a harassment claim. If an employee threatens to sue you, you must report it promptly, even if you believe they are just venting. Don’t let legal troubles grow. HR has the resources necessary to assist you and knows when to consult with lawyers.

4. Continuing Education for Career Growth

Is there a tuition reimbursement program at your place of business? If you don’t know the answer to that query, go to Human Resources and inquire. Many firms and organizations provide this benefit, particularly if the degree or certification you’re pursuing will directly benefit the company.

 If you’re an analyst, asking your employer to pay for your master’s degree in art history is unlikely, but if you’re looking for tuition aid for CPA review courses, there’s a strong chance your boss will help. Ask about certification programs or even massive online open courses that may help you bridge knowledge gaps if you don’t need a new degree but want to enhance your abilities.

5. Health Challenges

Do you or a family member suffer from health issues? Are you or your spouse pregnant? Proceed to HR. If you begin missing work due to headache without informing HR, you may be terminated for breaking attendance standards. However, if you report to HR, you may file papers and seek legal protection.

Your situation may be covered under the country’s medical law. You must seek assistance. Do not presume that your boss would understand that your absences qualify you for protection. Remember that these regulations also protect your family members, such as if you need time off to care for a very sick parent or relative.

6. Personal Issues

Don’t expect free treatment or private counsel from HR managers since they aren’t therapists, priests, or attorneys. However, if confidentiality is vital to you, you should request it. If they can’t, your HR manager should state, “I can’t keep this private.” If you allege that your employer is sexually harassing you, for example, the law requires your HR manager to look into it. But, if you’re suffering in your marriage or having issue with your home loan, your HR may help lead you toward an employee support program.

7. CV Enhancement

This may seem contradictory: after all, your HR department doesn’t want you to leave, and leaving is the only reason you’d need to update your CV, right? Wrong. Your CV is useful whether you’re seeking for membership in a professional group, searching for an internal promotion, or may be trying to get into graduate school.

Additionally, if you are laid off, your old HR department may be able to assist you with your resume.

8. Updating an Overall Rating

Was your last performance assessment accurate? The majority of the time, HR will side with your manager, given that your manager monitors your day-to-day work while HR oversees several workers. However, if you believe there was an error in your rating, you should contact HR.

Your HR manager will analyse your evaluation and compare it to those of your colleagues and previous evaluations. If the HR representative believes you have a point, they will discuss it with your supervisor.

9. Handling Your Supervisor

There are certain employees who are better suited to certain managers than others. Your company’s human resources department can assist you in dealing with a boss who does not share your management style or who tends to micromanage employees.

10. The Final Word

HR will always have documentation for you to complete, but keep in mind that they exist to assist the firm prosper. This indicates that HR is aware of the necessity for individual employee success. Check with them to see if they can assist you in advancing your career.

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Make Peace A Priority

/ dinah1995 / Leave a comment

It is essential to hold our ground, know our thoughts, take our stand and make peace our priority. It is easy to lose cool, go astray, feel worthless, rebel and destroy our vibe. Only to later discover what a wasted effort and time it had all been!

Keeping calm is a universal mantra that is perhaps so underrated in this world of impulsive minds. Smart-phones taking over our minds, social media taking over our lives, we have become meer puppets with no real values to keep up to. Everything has become such a sham, everything is just a show. This is why we need to understand that making peace with who we are, what we are doing, how we are feeling will help us find ourselves in the deeper realms.

We must not, for anything in this world, lose our calm and peace of mind. Let us be a little selfish, be a little upfront – and it’s alright. For our peace is in our hands. Let us not just look for calmness in the open vastness of the ocean but in the deeper darkness of ourselves. Let us not search for happiness in the mysterious spheres of the universe, but in the laughter, joy, emotions and the very inner being of ourselves. Letting go can help in the whole process. Let go of hurt and find the path to healing. This is one way we can keep our peace. Not holding grudges, not judging people, minding our own business, drinking a lot of water and being content in life are a few things we can do to hold on to our peace. 

Finding peace must be a habit, an unconscious tendency, a part of our lifestyle. Let us learn to protect our peace – at all cost.

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Ivaans Mumma

/ dinah1995 / Leave a comment

I love who I am today. It is surreal, the whole experience. This whole motherhood chapter. As if something has drastically changed – priorities, pass-time, likes, preferences, lifestyle, habits, myself!

I gave birth to a prince. I gave birth to Ivaan, whose name my partner and I chose for him during one of our very happy evening walks.

The experience of child labour was nothing short of a natural miracle. One can only imagine how it would be. It started like regular abdominal cramps and went unbelievably unbearable. However, all the traumatic minutes I spent in the labour ward were all worth it the moment I saw his little face. Too scared and overwhelmed, I remember touching his forehead with my index finger when he was brought to me first.

I am enjoying every bit of this journey. Looking forward to many more beautiful moments that I will be able to capture in my heart and mind forever!

I never expected myself to become who I am today. From a girl who knew nothing about handling children to a woman dreaming dreams for her younger one, I have matured.

I am going to relish this journey the most because these precious moments are not constant. Time flies, days pass by, children grow up, we live our lives and things don’t remain the same forever. Before I can even imagine, my little boy will become not so little anymore. He will one day not fit into my arms, he will one day grow up and drink his milk on his own, one day he will wave at me and go on trips, one day he will not be next to me, touching me or sleeping on me. As much as I am happy for him to grow up and be the man he’s destined to be, I am also trying to live this life when he’s so innocently little, relishing and enjoying his little milestones.

My little man Ivaan has completed me as a woman. I am happy to be his Mumma. I am happy to live life to fit his needs and desires into mine. I am excited to dream big for and with my boy. I am ready to be the mom I am purposed to be.

I love who I am today – Ivaan’s Mumma, partner, buddy, well-wisher, mentor, teacher, and above all, his best friend!

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Imperfectly Perfect Moms

/ Pozicool Raga / 2 Comments

For a mom, quintessentially speaking… everyday is mother’s day. It’s the fact. I know it was last week we all had our celebrations, opened presents from our kids and received lots of wishes… Still I believe I have to write more about it. I thought hard about what I could write and here is my tribute to all mothers.

I recently came across a video on social media that shows a corporate boardroom panel where the Ad head ask for suggestions from the team to design an ad campaign for Mother’s Day. Predictably, most on the panel suggested depicting a mother multitasking (akin to Goddess Durga with nine hands). Though one lone team member said “why should mothers be perfect?”. Why should we be perfect! There is so much pressure on a mom who has to constantly watch her back to see if anyone is noticing her “imperfect” actions. So true, isn’t it? So instead, let us celebrate the imperfections and stop making our mothers a Goddess who needs to be perfect in everything! I was happy to finally see one media campaign doing this. I hope many more ad campaigns follow this one.

So, how many times have you heard from your mother or grandmother to do things perfectly and in order, especially when you get married and when you have children too? I have heard this line from my mom and other older moms too – “Wait till you become a mom someday”. I am sure even you would have and are hearing this line daily from your parents. I remember my repartee to my mom while growing up, saying “I will be different. You wait and watch” – and I practice this fervently each day as a mom myself now! 

Unquestionably, motherhood is a big challenge. There is no doubt that the human race is evolving but one person who is expected to be a constant is a mom. A mom is anticipated to remain perfect and is constantly judged. (I would call it a scanner) She is under peer and family pressure, and under society’s surveillance mostly all times, which does its best to keep a mom “in her place!”. No matter how hard she tries, either her kids will judge her or her parents or in-laws or even relatives. So, whenever I meet a mom, I always tell her to follow her heart and do what she feels is right because people will judge every fragment of her. 

Many think mothers have to be super-human and yet again the same term, ‘perfect’ at what they are doing. It puts so much pressure to be “perfect” and then walk on eggshells to ensure they don’t falter or slip. Standards of perfection are set high in our society which are difficult to reach. As a result, mothers easily slip into depression and constantly feel unsatisfied with their parenting. There is more to life than being a parent – it is to be your own self and add happiness to that! A majority still expect the mother to be “on time” in all her work (doesn’t matter if it leaves her unhappy and stressed all the time!), always want her to be prim and proper, expect her children to be disciplined, expect her to multitask all the time (courtesy ridiculous memes on social media). 

Here are some hard facts about some “PERFECT MOM” :

1. She is the last one to eat.No one ever asks her too.
2. Always the host and she always play the perfect host. 
3. Postpones her relaxing time. Self-care is her least priority. 
4. Defers her travel plans. Her plans gone with the wind...
5.  Works with a sore back, never a complaint. Self care makes her feel she is selfish.
6. Ensures her kids are doing well, from dawn to dusk...
7. Delays her health check-up for family members; neglects taking her medication on time. 
8. Always aims to be a perfect role model. For everyone around.
9. Guilt tripping and getting guilt tripped by own family, friends for “neglecting her duties” if she stepped out. 
10.Add gaslighting by family, friends or relatives and other folks around. Society is very capable of making her chained to it's whims and expectations.

Yes, the list can go on and on…The above list isn’t about moms on television and web series. It’s the real moms who are conditioned to be perfect and nothing else. Those who refuse to adhere to perfection are termed “rebels”. Some reel moms, influencers and unrealistic expectations from reel life are shown as perfect on social media and various platforms. Thankfully some real and celebrity moms are now busting the “perfect mother” myths through their realistic reels and videos showing it is okay to be messy. 

Check out the recipe followed since generations:

So, how did our mothers become this perfect? Well, society including families have moulded such moms over years. They became epitomes of perfection and spoke highly as if trophies would be awarded to them. 

The Perfection recipe: 

Guilt trip (add regular blackmail) 
+ 
comparing to another ideal/superior mom 
+ 
constantly drilling in “pointers to become a good mom” 
+ 
Gaslighting (occasionally praising her and then pulling her down through guilt) 
= 
Perfect moms

Time to break Generational codes

We are inching towards the 22nd century, and we are ridden with 9th or perhaps 10th century value systems. Each generation evolves, and each of these generational codes must chip off. We keep stressing the importance of respecting mothers but effectively, how many families RESPECT mothers? Respecting mothers may not always mean giving them a home, property rights or treating them to meals. True respect will only come if we allow them to think for themselves and, allow them to be human (to make mistakes) and appreciate their self-worth.

Appreciating her multitasking skills is not definitely respecting her. This is an old stereotype too. Almost every woman’s day or Mother’s Day, we all receive memes showing a Goddess with nine hands doing nine things. Without even making this a gender debate, let us think of how to reduce the hands she has to use. Ever heard of decentralizing governments? Well, just like decentralizing involves distribution of powers from the Centre to the States and eventually to the masses, similarly let us start distributing duties and responsibilities – physical, financial and emotional – among all family members. All this to be done minus guilt tripping the mother.

My Imperfection Recipe: 

Family time with inclusivity, not to exclude her 
+ 
Equal distribution of work among family members 
+ 
Postponing “chores” & taking breaks 
+ 
Banning negative words at home, gaslighting & guilt tripping 
+ 
Lots of laughter at home 
+ 
Respecting her choices & accepting her flaws
=
Imperfectly Perfect Moms

I can assure that we will witness a visible positive and satisfied change in all our mothers. Imagining this brought a smile to your faces, right? So now visualize and do this in real life as well. From now on, make every day Mother’s Day and stop making mothers “perfection divas”. Rather, let us let our moms to be real, crazy, goofy and imperfect with a zest for life. Chores and daily routines need not become our life! Let us ban the word “perfect” and be more “imperfectly perfect”. Take this message coming from one mom to another.

After all, “Zindagi Milegi Na Dobara.” (you get to live this life only once).

Follow Priya Rajendran and The Word Route

Three Months of Being Pregnant

/ dinah1995 / Leave a comment

I didn’t go through the nine to ten months of pregnancy like most women do – quite literally. I discovered the pregnancy only during my fifth month, so I didn’t notice the suffering of the first trimester and its nauseating consequences! I noticed quickening and that’s where my journey of being pregnant started. That’s what I felt first about the whole deal.

On the 4th of September 2021, I went for my first ultrasound scan. There I saw the person growing inside me. A little human being inside me that all this while I did not notice. What I saw overwhelmed me. I instantly cried. My emotions were driving me to a state that I have never felt before. I am an emotional person and what I saw, I can never forget. The first time I saw the baby, it yawned. When I saw the baby yawn inside my belly, I decided it was going to be just fine – it was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. That was when I told myself that this was part of my destiny for sure.

It was then I came back to tell myself that I am going to get so ready for this baby. I quite didn’t have any expectations. I did think it would be a girl and even thought of a name – Tiah! I somehow could not come up with a boy’s name. I was somehow sure it was going to be a girl.

I watched my tummy grow. I could not believe it. I remember imagining how it would be when I was much younger. It was all about curiosity. Curious to know how, when, what and why of pregnancy, delivery, postpartum, raising a child, handling babies, baby songs, baby movies, and everything related to being a new parent. I taught myself many things. I researched, watched videos, read articles, watched interviews, spoke to new parents, and consulted with my doctor with whom I bombarded all my questions. I did everything possible I could have. I remember waking the baby with little pats on my belly and feeling him kick! It was out of this world! Those feelings make you so vulnerable and emotional and it is the most beautiful sensation of all times.

I began to not fit into the clothes I was flaunting a few months back. I started eating more. At that time, I did not particularly think much about the weight I was accumulating. I wanted the baby to be healthy especially because I did not provide him with the right medication and care he was supposed to get during the initial stages of pregnancy. There were minor complications due to lifestyle and negligence of health earlier, but we were fine.

I was not sure how to prepare myself, the house, my Marley the Lhasa Apso, my room, my partner, my parents, my sister, or the environment to welcome the baby. I was lucky to have one of my best friends, Aishwarya who was a new mom herself, by my side from day one of knowing about the pregnancy to guide me and tell me what and what not to do and expect during the whole process.

I remember feeling excited and scared at the same time when the doctor said she was going to induce my labour on the 2nd of December 2021. On the last day of being pregnant, we celebrated by going for dinner at one of my favourite restaurants. On the 1st of December, we cut a beautiful baby-themed cake Aishwarya brought for me and went to the hospital to get admitted.

Things fell into place – at the right pace, at the right time, just perfectly aligned with the Universe.

To be continued…

Read Part 1 – How it started
Read Part 2 – Surprised or Shocked

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PEMA

/ ksyamala1954 / 3 Comments

“Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Satchel page. When one becomes mentally strong one neither does need the support of anybody nor the luxury of relationships. Love becomes unconditional with no expectations, no demands, no frustration. A state of detachment. 

We children fondly called her PEMA (the other mother), who made delicious appam( rice cake). I have never tasted such a flavourful, soft, and delicious white appam made with fermented rice flour in my whole life. Even today I have tried to make appams, but couldn’t get Pema’s appams softness and texture. 

Pema’s thatched house was near our school. The atmosphere itself had the fragrance of the palatable appam, which overtook the smell of the Cutticura talcum powder we used. She always sat on the floor paved with cow dung in front of the fireplace. I was often afraid of what will happen if a fire broke out on the sliding veranda where the small kitchen was placed.

The old woman was always sweating before the fireplace. She made appam simultaneously with two iron pots. The hot appam is placed either in the ‘vatta leaf’ or pieces of plantain leaf, go along with dry coconut chutney seasoned with plenty of roasted onion mustard seed and curry leaves.

The only luxury in her house was a bench placed on the front porch. Those who were lucky had gotten a seat and eat the yummy dish, others would stand here and there, in the neat courtyard, and relish the appam. A large vessel and an earthen pot filled with water were kept nearby. There was a glass tumbler also.

After finishing our meal we drink water from the earthen pot and washed our hands from the water kept in the vessel. We had always noticed her in the same attire, a lungie, blouse, and a small towel placed on her shoulder. Very rarely did Amma give me money, so I regulated my visit to her, I was also tired of stealing anna(currency unit formerly used in British India) from my mom’s betel box.

Once I asked Pema, “why are you in the same dress?” She laughed showing the gum. I discovered that she had no teeth on her upper jaw.

“Don’t make her laugh, my friend warned me, I saw droplets of saliva fall upon your hand.” But I admired her toothless laughing. I often complained mom of not making that spongy appam in our house. She tried hard but in the end, the product lacked the original texture and smell. Mom told me” That was due to her silap(gifted hands). She put her heart and soul into her cuisine to attract customers because it is her lively hood.” I don’t know whether that answer satisfied me or not. 

It was drill period, we were allowed to play outside. One of my friends called me “come there is something very special to see. I accompanied her to Pema’s house. She was standing in her courtyard holding a basket. She whistled in a particular manner with her lips and tongue. All of a sudden a group of dogs, cats, and a flock of birds like a parrot, mynah, crow, etc appeared. The atmosphere was filled with the chirping of birds and musings of dogs and cats. She gave out the appam in plantain leaves. Without any hurry, they ate silently. In between, she uttered to them in her dialect. She offered them water in a large vessel. After the sumptuous meal one by one they disappeared. Like a well-directed animation movie, I saw the whole episode with incredible excitement. Oh! What a sight!!!

On my birthday my mom usually made steamed “Ela ada”. Rice flour mixed with water and ghee, spread in plantain leaf, with fillings made with coconut, jaggery, and a pinch of cardamom powder, my all-time favourite dish. I shared one of them with Pema. That was such a wonderful moment, she laughed like crying and kissed my sandal pasted forehead.

“Your birthday falls on which day,” I asked.

She said, “people like us don’t have a birthday. We don’t know when we were born. We were in a continuous race to live a life.”

Slowly despair began to overtake the bright face of her. Within no time she recouped her happy-go-lucky nature.

“You have no relatives or spouse? What is your real name?” I was curious. She took my hand and given a warm kiss.

“You kids are all I have,” she said.

“Did you go to the temple and pray?” She looked at me unbelievably with bare eyes. 

“Temple. !! I don’t have time, I have so many works to do ” 

“Like?” I asked.

“Collecting firewoods, making dough for the next day, cleaning the house, courtyard, utensils, fetching water from the far-away community well, door delivering the excess appam, and so on.” she said.

After a while thoughtfully she asked herself ” What would I ask for God?”

I became dumbfounded, her question wavered into my mind. As a child even I had so many perks in my kitty to ask from God. I narrated our entire conversation to my mother. In my voice she saw anxiety, and she consoled me “there are so many people in this world like Pema. Sometimes they hardly know even their name. You are too small to understand those things. Let them live the way they have been living, at their own pace”.

Usually, people of her age are resting or under the care of children or spouses. She was not there to complain even before the Almighty. All I saw in Pema was a dignified woman in empowerment, and independence. Unheard of during those days, in those generation, or half a century ago. The heat and summer didn’t touch her, who bears eternal winter.

Follow K. Syamala

Early Reader Bird Catches The Bookworm

/ Pozicool Raga / Leave a comment

Books are a different world altogether. For me, it has always meant an alternate universe, lots of colours, different creatures and humans. For children, it symbolizes wonder, curious energy and lots of wild imagination. My childhood was brimming with words, a splash of colours and lots of friends in it. Truly, books were and are my best friends, to date. 

I speak to a lot of parents on a daily basis. Most parents complain about their children’s lack of interest in reading and prefer the screen to it. Visuals seem more fun these days for kids since it is instant stimulation and no imagination. They can see all characters as it is. Books on the other hand fuel imagination. As a child, if you have read books (especially comics), you would only find limited drawings/sketches. 

Mostly only the main character will be shown in drawings and the rest of the characters left to the imagination of the child. For instance, an Akbar Birbal story book would have maybe three or four “Navratnas” (nine gems/valuable courtiers) in Akbar’s court. Everyone who has read these stories would inevitably remember Akbar and Birbal alone. But in this visual generation, children will remember all faces thanks to a wider screen for stories. As a result, imagination is slowly running dry. 

I resonate with this thought I read on a bookmark that was given to me with a book at a bookstore: “That’s the thing about books. They let you travel without moving your feet.”

There must be an optimum balance between books and screen time (lesser or least time for the latter). I can give several examples of books apart from the above mentioned. Indian mythological tales, Enid Blyton, Famous Five, Secret Seven, Nancy Drew and the new age children’s books like The Wimpy Kid’s Diary and many more, have fuelled imagination of generations.

10 Reasons Why

1. AGE, NO BAR
There is no specific age for introducing books to children. Children as young as six months can read books. At every age, books can be read in a different way. At six months, the baby may not process what he or she is reading. It will just be the pictures and colours in the book. They will browse picture books till they are two years and you can read out stories to them too. After they turn two, you can start reading out stories aloud to them. 

2. SETS A REGULAR BOOK ROUTINE 
Just like children have a routine from brushing teeth, bathing, meals, school etc, it is good to have a nap time routine for books (no e-books or any digital books, please) as well. 

3. INSPIRES ART 
Surprisingly, children start drawing and colouring also quite early. Books open a new avenue for imagination and freedom to experiment with colours and shapes. And where do you think they form images of these? Through books, of course! Ask any child who reads to draw, you will find them doodling stick figures at early stages and later human figures and animal figures by the time they are seven. Besides this, they learn to draw their emotions as well. 

4. GOOD FOR EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT (EQ)
Books help children in connecting with various characters – animals/humans/any object in stories. Pictorial graphics help the child imagine these characters and relate to particular personality traits as well. A good way of making them articulate their emotions easily is to help them learn story telling and encourage them to narrate their own stories. 

5. A STORY TELLER IS BORN! 
Story weaving is a popular technique used in preschools these days. A book of their choice is chosen by each group of children. There will be at least three to four groups like this. Based on the story, word(s) are assigned to each child and they have to build sentences as they sit in a circle. The last child in the circle will narrate the entire story using words used by all the kids. A wonderful method to enhance vocabulary too. Older kids can narrate their own stories to the class too.
6. “FRIENDS FOR LIFE”
Children can engage themselves reading books any time of the day. They can never get bored (as most kids complain these days) reading. On days children do not have friends to play with, or they go to a party where there are no kids, books are their best friends. Whether it is while travelling or those rainy days, books are the best buddies. Years later, children will have rich memories of books they read while growing up. The doodles done in them will remain forever!

7. INITIATES WRITING 
This is for older kids. Once the reading routine is set, children learn a lot of new words. They can start writing diaries. With an enhanced vocabulary, they even write their own stories, reviews of books in the diary. Essay writing will be a breeze thanks to the reading habit. They will remember quotes from various books they read.

8. BONDING WITH YOUR CHILD 
A book reading time minus all gadgets is the best for connecting with your child. Your child will not only feel important if you do this, he or she will use that time to narrate their favourite stories to you. Such moments are priceless!

9. ENHANCES BRAIN DEVELOPMENT 
Research has proven that reading enhances “language growth, emergent literacy and reading achievement”. In other words, cognitive skills can be tapped in the formative years (0-6 years) through reading. Oratorical skills, emotions and last but not the least, knowledge increases by leaps and bounds through reading.

10. LIFE SKILL & TONS OF MEMORIES 
Reading is a skill you learn, which remains till your last breath. Books you read help you in all walks of life! You will always remember books you read in your childhood till the end of your life. You can build memories with every page you read. I still have books with my doodles in them and even remember when I drew them.

Thanks to my love for books that was inculcated during my childhood, I have done the same for my son who is turning 8 this year. I began reading him books ever since he was 6 months old. Now he loves books and says they are his best friends! He doesn’t even mind re-reading books and narrating characters giving it his own twist.

Gift your child this best friend and you won’t ever regret it! Someone has rightly said “A book is a gift you can open again and again” just like good memories.

Follow Priya Rajendran