Author: dinah1995

Parental Burnout

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Much as we love our kids, we have stages and moments when we want to unwind, sit calmly, and not have to do any of the baby commitments we have been doing for a very long time. Life changes entirely after a baby, and it’s nothing like earlier. We must give up on many things post-baby and sacrifice many habits and routines for the same. This is not very easy mentally, psychologically, and physically. It may not seem very difficult initially, but as time passes and parenthood settles in, it becomes more mundane, monotonous, and a little overwhelming.

When all the laughs and smiles slowly fade into everyday chores and milestones hit hard as it is a different and challenging phase for the child and the parents, things turn sides, and it’s not all that fancy anymore. For instance, teething – a tough period for both the parents and the baby – all we got to do is hold on and be as positive as possible.

Amidst all this chaos, we tend to feel pressurised and vulnerable. We feel exhaustion and irritation overpowering our parental instincts. We feel agitated, upset, depressed, anxious, and helpless, all at the same time. This phase is called parental burnout or mom burnout. It is valid for working moms too – they are not spared because they work at the office more – they feel the phase equally, if not more, with all the stress from the outside world and the world inside their homes!

To begin with, IT IS OKAY to feel overwhelmed and angry. It is natural, and it must be addressed. It is beautiful to share this with someone, understand what we are going through, and acknowledge that we need a break. Lying down what makes us anxious can be a start. Talk to someone who listens. Embrace what is left and take one step at a time. It helps deal with the feeling better. The baby does not know what is happening. There’s no point in holding the baby accountable for us feeling a certain way. All we have to do is be an adult and deal with this phase as cleverly as possible.

Take a break from being with the baby. Go on a date night or maybe a movie. Take a two days vacation and relax your mind. It’s alright to miss being with the baby, and it’s completely OK to feel a little weird – it’s just parental instincts! But we deserve a break, and we must take it when we can!

These things may seem modern, but they are not. Feeling exhausted and angry is something all women have dealt with, but no one addressed it or spoken about it. Today is when everyone is open to understanding emotions and helping people with mental well-being. Therefore, it is each one of our duty to appreciate parents and mothers and open up when they need. Do not shrug off their worries or concerns. We never know what someone’s going through.

Being a good mom or dad is not about never feeling odd or angry. It is about understanding feelings and acting according to them. So, for the baby’s benefit, parents, and the family… Happy parenting! 

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Bottle Feeding Is Just Fine

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The relationship between babies and their mom are unfathomable. It is beyond beautiful and surreal. Nature has its ways of caring for life. And it is natural for mammals to feed their babies breast milk, like humans. However, not all mothers can nurse their babies for various reasons – one of which is not lactating enough to do so – which is pretty natural and not an excuse like Manu humans (incredibly nosy aunties) think it is! 

Well, there are numerous thoughts and comments about how different babies that are boob-fed and bottle-fed are! And here are my thoughts, being a new mom myself and not being able to breastfeed my baby for more than two months after his birth. 

To begin with, my journey has been very different from that of many moms. I was unprepared to be a mom and thrust to take on this role unexpectedly. Having PCOD all my life, I was not even a girly girl who knew what an intense period felt like! But, blessed to be a mom today, I watched myself transform and be the best version of myself for my little munchkin. 

Not having a smooth and “expected” pregnancy might have affected the way I perceived breastfeeding – maybe even the fact that I was not prepared to even after the baby’s arrival – something many people would not relate to – it is entirely natural and nothing to be awestruck – had an impact on my nursing techniques and ideologies. 

I was unsure how to touch or hold my son when he was brought to me after birth! I did feed him for a while when people around me started having inhibitions of whether the baby had enough milk to feed on since he cried his lungs out during the night – which again is natural – but the guilt of not having enough inside me to feed my baby worsened the situation and my confidence to nurse him appropriately. 

Giving him formula relieved me of that anxiousness about whether he had enough milk. Giving him formula made me question something different, however. I was scared that he would be as attached to me as other breastfed babies are to their moms! 

Breastfed or bottle-fed, it does not make any difference! Skin-to-skin need not always come with feeding the baby. I have had skin-to-skin sessions with my boy for hours together – we have fallen asleep like that, and those moments have been so special for him and me alike! I am sure he feels warmth and security with me being beside him and feeding him from a bottle just fine. It has made me realize what a special bond we share outside the norm. 

Today, many women face this issue and feel guilty for not being able to feed their babies their milk. However, there is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. The bond between a mom and her baby does not have to be defined by whether or not they feed them from their breasts! 

Bottle-feeding my son has helped me personally in several ways. Looking at the brighter side of the story, I can spend quality time alone, do my things and not feel my boobs will burst anytime, and go to the office in peace and not worry about leaks or stains and so on. I have a life of my own (which many moms forget they do) and cope and survive this new phase. I encourage and help women and my friends who are new moms to realize and understand that the bond with their babies is unique and does not matter what others say. What makes us comfortable is to be practiced. 

Hugging him to sleep, caressing his soft skin and hair while he drinks from his favourite feeding bottle, watching his little fingers hold mine, and staring into his starry eyes, are all ways I bond with my angel boy. He is almost one now, and the time has flown, and there are so many different things I need to focus on rather than worrying about whether or not he will love me enough because he is not breastfed! He does not go to sleep at night without me. So there was my answer – he has no reason to bond less with me – he is outstanding and healthy. It is all in the new mom’s head! 

I want to repeat that bottle feeding is acceptable; and just fine. Anything that gives you peace, calm, confidence, and mental stability IS JUST FINE. 

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Spice It Up

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Life is uncertain and ever-changing. We all tend to get lost in the monotonous routine of every day and somehow lose our identity and love for anything adventurous. We almost give into the drill and forget the essence of living life to the fullest. Yes, work is essential. Yes, kids are important. Yes, spending time at home and doing our duties is necessary. But, what is more important is to make sure that we are ourselves the whole time – what we used to be when we laughed freely, what we used to be when we traveled without second thoughts, and what we used to be when we lived life our way!

Somewhere, most often than not, men and women equally lose touch with what used to be before all these so-called responsibilities, and mundane rituals came into being. How effortless it used to be to self-love, self-indulge, and be a little selfish!

While it is important to stay rooted and grounded, it is also necessary to let loose and be free once in a while. If a partner can understand and participate in this holistic approach to life, there is nothing like it: if not, it is outstanding to wave off, take a break, and spice it up ourselves.


Breathe – it is not that hard! Taking a day off, listening to good music, shaming a leg, writing a journal, reading a book or two, and being away from the routine can be a start. This has more positive effects than one can imagine! Thinking outside the box, doing things differently, and enjoying what we do, are all ways to revitalize and rejuvenate our inner selves. The idea is to avoid getting bored of ourselves – which is more often the case with many individuals though they might choose to disagree.

Being a little selfish is healthy – for our mental health! But on the other hand, being greedy, prioritising self-love, and honouring peace and mental satisfaction are necessary for us. This will help us maintain a healthy life outside of who we are and help us be better spouses, better parents, better friends, better colleagues, and better us, to put it straight!

There are other exciting ways to heal ourselves and focus on bettering ourselves. Get out into nature, smile and laugh more often, take charge of our routine lives, and always have something fun and exciting to do apart from loving what we do regularly. Taking more pictures, being more relevant and in the scene, recording instances, keeping memories fresh, replaying and reliving happy moments, zoning out once in a while, fantasizing about life, dreaming big and living life entirely can also help with spicing up things and keeping life happening!

Days are not coming back, and they are not stopping for us to lay back. Time is flying, and so are we aging; there is so much more to life than just being us! However, exploring and encountering outside of our comfort zone will never lead us to regret – they will create memories that we can relive a thousand times, and it is worth it!

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I Am Woman

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Being Woman…It’s a life full of different phases. Multifarious phases of transition. She is evolving inside her body throughout life, maturing and flowering like a bloom. However, in each stage, she leaves behind something. Something about her that does not escort her for the rest of her life: from a sweet and calm infant to becoming a reckless toddler, she is fun, happy, curious, and all smiles.

As she ages, she transitions into a teenager – confused, anxious, intelligent, and witty. She faces life further to learn that all things are not as glittery as she thought they’d be. Her heart perhaps broken once, twice, or more. She is uncomfortable about her changing body. Breasts maturing, monthlies introduced, and body hair that she feels no one else has – this phase is probably the most jarring and scary for her; she’s still naive and hopeful.

She then becomes more confident in her skin, makes sure she knows the game better, and portrays herself as the epitome of beauty, confidence, and success, though she still has a lot going on inside her brain. But, on the other hand, she is perhaps still as confused and anxious – she masters the art of not looking too vulnerable and naive, maybe wearing the mask too well – hiding her scars behind loud lipstick and heavy foundation.

Her sexuality, personality, speech, tone, likes, and dislikes change with time. She is shattered a hundred or even a thousand times before she becomes the woman she is destined to be – robust, intelligent, confident, and assertive.

A woman matures with the hurdles she crosses and the heartbreaks she endures. A woman who has had it all and seen it all becomes unstoppable. A woman who has done it all becomes irreplaceable. A woman who has transitioned for the need to survive and build an empire on her own is impeccable and immeasurable.

She is a daughter, sister, girlfriend, wife, mother, friend, neighbour, colleague, and mentor – she is all this and more. She plays each role uniquely and differently. She transforms in each role, learns in each phase, and transitions herself and others around her with her superb ability to touch lives, multitask, analyze and live efficiently.

A woman, therefore, must be appreciated and judged less, for only she knows what she is going through. She must be given as much support and care because as strong as she portrays herself, she is equally weak and seeking love, care, and empathy. Despite repeatedly depicting their strong character and unshakeable attitude, she needs a shoulder not just to cry on but to rely upon; a tall glass of red wine or two and perhaps a soothing night’s sleep not worrying about anything. A man’s world is entirely different and nothing like a woman’s. Though he would need empathy and care for himself, a woman is naturally built differently, and her needs must be catered to differently. A woman is powerful and enigmatic – she can change her world for good and build solid and refined generations.

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Dear Best Friend

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Dear best friend…
You have been next to me for so long,
From day one of being what I was born to be;
A blank page; perhaps a lingering scent…

Dear best friend,
You have seen my scars, felt my pain:
Along with me, you stayed;
Caressed, cursed, loved and 
Whispered tales to me in the end. 

We have felt similar heartbreaks,
Heard the same lies,
Felt the same hurt,
Made the same sacrifices and blunders…
You have loved as deep as I have,
Cared as much as I have, and 
Healed as little as I have… 
You are as broken as I am!
For YOU are inside me…
My actual best friend;
My very own self, shadow, and reflection…

Dear best friend,
You have always been right;
And I have always ignored your signs.
I have always belittled your insights
While the Universe has you and I aligned. 

Dear best friend,
My inner self and harmony 
When everything else is on fire…
My first love, my last hope,
My intuition, my strength, my dear;
My pal for life, myself - so unique and dear! 

Dear best friend,
Thank you for being You.
For being all ears and eyes and
Everything else you have been.
Thank you for being my diary, journal, my 
slam book,
Thank you for inspiring me to 
Write poetry and cook! 
Thank you for helping me be the best of myself:
Thank you for being the ray of hope,
And the light in the darkness, a hand I can hold. 

Dear best friend,
I am sorry you were sometimes ignored,
Hated, shouted at, broken, and scarred. 
I am sorry at times. 
I didn't hold on,
For not moving on or letting go of that hurt. 

Dear best friend,
Let us start fresh, a new beginning indeed
Coz' you are the only one I need -
You are the only one with me
Till the end and beyond… 
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Stop Fighting You

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We all feel a little down sometimes. Don’t feel like getting off the bed in the morning! The feeling of gloom and sadness lingers over our heads. Over-eating, under-eating, laughing too much, crying too much! Pretending to be okay. Being offensive and defensive when not required, mood swings, bad temper, violence of any sort, emotional outbursts, overthinking, anxiety, taking too much stress, clinging onto the past, and self-pity- are all signs of bad mental health.

Mental health is more important than how much importance it’s given. Despite the world beginning to recognise it, most of us brush it aside as if it’s part of life. It is not. Marred mental health is not a lifestyle and must not be treated as ‘just a phase’ in life.

A sound mind is the key to a sound body and life. The happier we are within ourselves, the more comfortable we look on the outside. The more we dwell on negativity and hurt, the deeper the wounds become. Life is more than sad or bad days. It’s got minutes and hours that tick fast, and in the blink of an eye, years must have passed.

We must realize how much of that time we lost have we utilized to be happy and content. Therefore, we must be mindful of what we invest our emotions and energy into. The more we harbour toxicity and hurt, the more things get difficult to sort inside our heads, leading to indecisive thought patterns, lack of trust, self-confidence, logical thinking, rational behaviour, wisdom, and so on. Therefore, it is imperative to understand what is good and not for our minds and hearts.

It is always good to let go of what does not do good for our minds. May that be something someone did to us or said to us, something that caused us to hurt, perhaps just too much to let go of. But that is what we must learn to master first – to move on, let go and be happy where we are. The little joys in life matter, not how many days we spend hurt or angry.

Anger is a killer. The more we harbor anger within ourselves, we lose the game together. Anger destroys relationships, lives, and health. It worsens any situation. It leads to a lack of understanding and empathy. Words spoken in anger can never be taken back. And the scars that badly spoken words leave are quite profound.

We must learn to rationalize and prioritize where to invest emotions and feelings. The moment we learn to live happily with ourselves, we master the art of keeping the mind happy and healthy. Mental health plays a vital role in overall health and well-being. We are only fighting ourselves by destroying our mental wellness. We only fight by being rude, angry, hurt, stuck, and tormented. Get out of your comfort zone and make a few changes – it’s all worth it afterward.

Stay healthy inside out… that’s all that matters!

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Morning Routine

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Despite being guilty of terrible morning routines for years together, I have ultimately comprehended the significance of peace, calm, good vibes, determination, and discipline as soon as we wake up.

I have experienced extreme mood swings and irritation early in the morning, regardless of whether or not I slept well during the night. This was only because of what I did instantly after I woke up. I was abysmal in maintaining discipline and routine in my life. I have been too easygoing, and this attitude cost me my physical health and mental shape. And also the days that could have been better and a lot of my potential to do well and be productive.

You would not find this abnormal. We are all guilty of this behaviour. The first item on my list when I opened my eyes was to check my phone. And scan through all the different notifications that had flooded it. It did no good whatsoever! I walked into the loo with my phone and sat for minutes daily. I did not know how time flew by. I checked my emails, messages, social media accounts, news, and whatnot!

All this while, I read articles about how I must not glimpse at my phone as soon as I wake up. And also, the last thing we do before going to sleep must not be to check our phone. Easy to read, so hard to practice! But then, one fine day, I stopped the practice and did something different – I woke up, felt good about the day, said a word of prayer and gratitude, and affirmed being positive and productive. I took each day, one day at a time!


I walked to the loo empty-handed, brushed my teeth, washed my face with cold water, and drank a glass of warm water. I then went to the balcony, watched the day unfold before me, and listened to my love birds chirping and wishing me a good day! Finally, I took a few minutes for myself and recollected everything I was to finish and accomplish that day.

Not looking at my phone did not cost me anything at all. Instead, it helped me prepare myself for the day better. So I decided to make this my daily morning routine.

My newfound routine is highly wholesome and healthy – both physically and mentally. It does all good things to the mind and keeps me away from the screen early in the morning. It keeps me away from the constant competition of social media and the toxic drama of the world. I got some time to infuse positive energy within me to deal with the day.

I encourage each one to try this out. Then, of course, we can always add things like a small workout session, yoga, reading something light like a few pages from a novel, taking a shower, perhaps bathroom singing to let that adrenaline flow, listening to good music, and so on!

With a planned routine, start your day well, spend your day well and end your day well.

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Phubbing

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Phubbing is a new addition to the modern vocabulary that means ‘ignoring someone or people we are physically hanging out with and being held up with our phones to be connected to the virtual world and friends’. This behaviour or act has existed since mobile phones have taken over most of our lives. We all have either phubbed others or been phubbed by others almost daily!

If we look at it with eyes open, mobile phones have become an integral part of our daily lives. We have replaced several other devices and skills over the years with just one device – the mobile phone. 

Not having a mobile phone is more like lacking a limb for many – it has become so crucial for our survival that today, people find it an investment like any other! From alarm clocks to reminders and notes, from calculators to phone books, from dictionaries to books used for references, almost everything is replaced today. Even our brains, for that matter, are less used. We don’t calculate as much as we used to. We don’t read newspapers or books like before. We don’t try to remember phone numbers, birthdays, and anniversaries; we laugh less, talk less, text more with fewer words and letters, and call it the ‘SMS language’! We use short forms for everything and have lost the value of the actual act or the essence of the word – as LOL has taken over the front of laughing out loud; we hardly mean it nowadays when we use it in text. 

Phubbing ruins relationships. It destroys personal connection and can cause harm to our mental health. It causes anxiety issues like FOMO and whatnot! It drains our attention from the things that matter and things that need to be more valued. Phubbing also adversely affects our physical health, causing ailments like text-neck and stress-related issues. It is also one of the significant causes of depression and anxiety in today’s world. Though mental health concerns were prevalent earlier, today, it has taken a different avatar with the rise of mobile phones and the internet. The reason why a lot of people among us feel a lot left out and lonely is because of the constant use of the phone and social media, not being satisfied or content with our own lives; wanting and desiring to live a life inside a box, a dash of sham, glam and nothing real perhaps! 

No, phones are not all harmful and nothing good. They are technological progress, and we ought to be tech-savvy and relate to newer inventions and inclusions in life. However, like every coin has two sides to it, the use of technology does too. When we know how much to use, when, and where, we mature and rise above the downside of it. We must not let smartphones outsmart us. 

Phubbing is also not something that causes harm to all – many people are introverts in nature and have social anxieties. They deal pretty well with the act of phubbing. They don’t seem to feel lost in the crowd with their smartphones by their side. They can deal with their lives their way – just like the coin’s other side! 

Let us educate ourselves and our children, who are the future, to not give in to the lameness part of the online world and believe that we are falling behind. Instead, we are the ones who created this convenience and shall experience, use, learn, progress, and relish the same. 

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Rejuvenate Your Mind

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Your mind is a reflection of who you are. It acts more like a mirror that shows the person you are from within. Relaxing your mind is as essential as taking rest and giving your physical body a break. 

Taking some time off and rejuvenating yourself, avoiding anything that can cause stress, anxiety, or even the mundane life routine, could help relieve a lot of day-to-day pressure. We are all taking up a lot more than what our minds, brains, and bodies can. We are working longer hours and multitasking like never before, and there is a lot of pressure and competition around us. As a result, screen time is much more than it used to be a few years ago. In addition, there is inflation, economic pressure, lifestyle changes, and a lot more that is going on that can affect us in many different ways. 

Life has become more like a rat race to nowhere! People are all so busy running the race, not understanding that it does not matter who comes first. However, what matters is that half of the people running the race could probably fall sick and tired of the whole thing quickly down the lane. 


To avoid such exhaustion, it is critical to stay put, not forget to enjoy and relish the little things, stay rooted and avoid unnecessary social competition. With the rising use of social media and other social platforms, people constantly need to look, behave and live life a certain way – which is absolutely not required. People must realize that “You do you – I do me. We are all different and unique in our good ways”. 

Take a break, let loose, and go for a holiday. Stay away from screens, practice family dinners and meal times, play with children, read good books, listen to good music, watch inspirational movies, talk to wise people and get motivating ideas to keep going. Providing your mind with the proper measures can go a long way! Be patient with yourself, keep doing what you feel is best for you to heal wholly, and run your race – because it is always you against you and no one else. And remember, at your pace.

Rejuvenate your mind and make peace with what you have achieved. Take pride in yourself and appreciate yourself. Do anything that can give you peace and calm. Be there for you – because no one else understands you as you do…

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Depression Is Real

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Easier said than done; depression and anxiety are not easy to cope with. Mental health is as significant, if not more, than physical health. Being void of diseases is not what well-being is all about. A person’s complete and wholesome well-being combines physical and mental health, including psychological, financial, spiritual, and social aspects too.

People often misunderstand depression and anxiety. Someone may not continually cry or look upset to be affected by either or both. Someone who appears absolutely “normal” and acceptable in the eyes of others could also be dealing with something within.

Always ensure you check up on friends and family. Not every day is the same. You never know what someone is going through until you fill their shoes or be in their situation.

Offer to help. Offer to talk and offer to listen. Sometimes and phases exist when someone wants another person to listen to them. Letting out what is within and being open about what is going on can, in a way, heal the person.

If someone is not willing to be open and speak up, restrain from going on asking what the problem is. Some people prefer to keep it to themselves, and you must respect their choice. Instead, offer a hot coffee or tea, take them out to get some fresh air, or even watch a movie – perhaps leave them alone if they demand so.

Anything you can do to help someone cope with their mental health will go a long way. Fortunately, many of us seek support and acceptance in this wild world for many reasons. Some seek mental health support for personal causes, and some for professional help. Things that worry someone may not even seem big enough as a reason to fear for you – but for some, it is indeed a difficult situation. Therefore, respect people by not being judgemental, responsible, and assisting in relieving someone of their pain in the best way possible.

Never judge someone who needs your shoulder. Always be there for someone who needs you – you might need someone someday! Depression and anxiety can be very different from what they may seem to you. It is not a small thing or something that can be brushed under the carpet. It is as real as daylight, and the world needs more mindful and understanding people. Now, more than ever.

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