Celebrating Girly Bonds

Whoever said that moms and daughters could never get along is either mired by stereotypes over the years, narrated by ancestors, or that they never got along well.

Honestly, my mother and I never got along much because of our differences, but still, there is an unseen bond of caring. As a mother who crossed the 40th-year milestone, I cherish a forever bond with my son. I have read this quote innumerable times, and it also applies to my life: “if you ever feel like giving up, just remember a little girl is watching who wants to be just like you.” I have never seen my mother give up, no matter how complex or challenging situations have been. This quote applies to a daughter as well as a son too. Similarly, whenever I wanted to give up, my son would look at me with his small eyes and tug at me, telling me not to give up! 

A mother and a daughter is an age-old bond too. It starts from the cradle and ends in the grave. There can be rocky paths, but together, they do it. Of course, ups and downs in the relationship are there, but they can handle it because there is something extraordinary about a mother and a daughter’s bonding. They can be each other’s shadows as well as sunshine! They even say it is a love-hate relationship as well. But distance has never affected the bond much. Like any other mother-son, father-son, or father-daughter bond, a mother-daughter bond is unique.  

In many homes, a daughter is considered her mother’s shadow, though it may not be the case. A daughter always has an identity of her own, and she may share zillions of differences between her and her mother. But there are ways to bridge these differences too.

I am sure you will agree that none of us can be clones of each other – so can a daughter and mother be similar? Well, it all depends on the bond built from childhood. Differences and similarities can also be celebrated, accepting each other for what they are. Many jokes and stereotypes have been narrated or gone viral on mothers and daughters – primarily negative!   

the stereotypes – Real and reel

1. Mothers and daughters are rivals and can never get along.
2. Daughters are supposed to be perfect like their moms and are their shadows (attributing Indian soaps)
3. Daughters have to take on maternal roles early on and learn household chores like their mothers.
4. Traditional roles in the household are reserved for mothers and daughters.
5. The emotional well-being of a family rests on mothers and daughters.
6. A mother can spoil a daughter’s family dynamics after marriage.

There are many more. I am sure if you are a daughter or a mother reading this, you will have more such stereotypes and stories to narrate on how a mother and daughter bonding has been perceived by society!

Many of you may even disagree with the above stereotypes as well. In a typical patriarchal society and surroundings, a mother is expected to “discipline her daughter and groom her to be fit for the world.” Often, a mother and daughter move apart too after a certain age because of refusal to meet these expectations and standards. Yet, many mothers and daughters have broken these cliches and maintained outstanding bonds. They are best friends and share every tiny detail of their lives too. Distance has made their hearts grow fonder by the day as well.

10 ways to make Mother-daughter relationship easy

How many of you share a friendly bond with your moms? Even if you don’t, what are the things you have done with your mother during your growing years and even now? Do you have any rituals? Fret not, even if you share nothing in common! 

  1. Communication
    Good communication is critical in any relationship, and it’s no different between mothers and daughters. Make sure you take the time to listen to each other and respectfully express your thoughts and feelings.

  2. Spend quality time together
    Spend time doing things you both enjoy, whether it’s going shopping, cooking, or just spending a quiet afternoon at home.

  3. Please respect each other’s boundaries
    Each person has a unique personality, preferences, and lifestyle, so it’s important to respect each other’s choices and boundaries.

  4. Be supportive
    Be there for each other through the good and bad times. Offer encouragement and support when needed, and always strive to build each other up.

  5. Acknowledge each other’s accomplishments
    Celebrate each other’s successes and show appreciation for one another’s achievements, no matter how big or small.

  6. Seek common ground
    Try to find common interests and activities that you both enjoy and participate in these things together.

  7. Apologize and forgive
    No relationship is perfect, and misunderstandings and arguments are bound to happen. Be quick to apologize, forgive, and strive to overcome disagreements.

  8. Share your experiences
    Share your own experiences and perspectives, and try to learn from each other’s experiences.

  9. Show affection
    Regularly show affection, whether it’s through hugs, kisses, or just kind words and gestures.

  10. Keep an open mind
    Be open to new ideas and ways of thinking, and be willing to try new things together. This will help keep your relationship fresh and exciting and will help you grow together as individuals.

Mother-daughter Bond & How?

1. Spend time together

Make an effort to spend quality time together, whether going for a walk, trying a new restaurant, or just sitting and chatting over a cup of tea. If you and your mother are foodies, the best way is to explore local traditional cuisines you can enjoy. So go on a food trail! Home is where the heart is, and the kitchen is where the heart and hearth lie. You can choose to cook a dish alongside your mother. Another way is to enroll in a cooking class and learn how to make new dishes.

2. Participate in shared activities

Find common interests and activities that you both enjoy, and try to participate together. It could be anything from cooking or gardening to hiking or playing games. Spending meaningful time together and enjoying endless conversations in a spa may be the perfect recipe for a good time with your mom. Enjoy a relaxing day of pampering and bonding with your mother.

3. Share memories & stories

Share your memories and stories, and listen with interest to your mother’s stories and experiences. Join some relaxing classes for physical and mental wellness together. In addition, it can be an excellent time to learn about family, ancient and traditional practices together and connect well with your mother or daughter.

4. Show appreciation

Regularly show appreciation for your mother and all she does for you. This could be through verbal expressions of gratitude, thoughtful gestures, or just spending quality time together. Visit a local bazaar or market and explore some unique and colourful souvenirs made by artisans. A day out shopping can be loads of fun and off the mundane daily routine!

5. Offer help & support

Offer to help and support your mother, whether with household chores, errands, or just being there to listen. Showing you care about her well-being and happiness can help strengthen your bond. 

So, what are you waiting for? Pen your itinerary TODAY and list things you want to do with your mother and vice versa. Signing off with Signe Hammer’s quote that touched my heart, ‘Mothers of daughters are daughters of mothers and have remained in circles joined to circles since time began.’


She is a quirky writer/photographer/closet poet and singer who has traversed a non-conventional path. As a former entertainment journalist who has worked in print and online media for a decade, Priya loves talking to people and writing their unspoken stories. She is a single parent of a 7-year-old son settled in Tamil Nadu and a Content Consultant/ Communications-PR Manager. She is also an informal mentor to parents in her local parenting network. She dreams of being an author of a book and maybe the scriptwriter of a film someday!

Follow Priya Rajendran

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