In Search Of Virginity

What year is it? Oh, 2023! Yet we are all caught up in the stereotypical boundary of virginity – specifically, a woman’s virginity. Many cultures and societies are bound to the concept of women saving themselves for marriage. Women are oriented to save themselves for their “husbands” and not to have sex before marriage.

The concept of virginity has been present in various cultures for thousands of years and has been linked to religious and social norms, particularly in the Western world. In Western societies, the concept of virginity has been traditionally associated with sexual purity and has been tied to ideas of morality, honour, and tradition. Historically, virginity was considered a desirable quality in women and a necessary requirement for marriage. The idea was that a virgin bride would bring moral and social value to marriage and family, while a man losing his virginity was seen as a ritual of passage into adulthood.

In ancient civilizations, virginity was often considered a valuable commodity and symbol of purity, and the loss of virginity was often linked to concepts such as honor and shame. The idea of virginity as a defining aspect of a person’s sexuality continues to be present in many societies today. Still, its significance and definition have evolved over time and vary across cultures.

In recent decades, the cultural significance of virginity has declined, but the concept remains influential in many Western societies. Today, the definition of virginity is often tied to sexual penetration. Still, this definition is not universally accepted and is influenced by personal beliefs, cultural background, and individual experiences. Despite changes in cultural attitudes, the concept of virginity continues to play a role in sexual attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors in many Western societies.

I have a different take on this. It came to being many, many years ago, during a time when there were no condoms or contraceptive pills to avoid pregnancy. Therefore, the chances of being pregnant in those days were high. Men in those days wanted to ensure that the child was their own, consequently bringing in the concept of virginity and marrying a virgin girl. However, today, when things have changed so much, and we talk about equal rights and equal opportunities, women are still in many places controlled by their sexuality and mere virginity.

There are people even today who belittle and shame women who have sex. People compare women to chewing gums for having or wanting to have sex with multiple partners. They say women become “used” and “unwanted” if they have sex with various partners. However, this applies only to women. Instead, men are encouraged to have sex and be with however many partners they want. They are never shamed or belittled or character assassinated. They say “boys will be boys”! “It’s no big deal.” Why is it a big deal for a woman, then?

Women are more than whether they have a hymen or not. Women are more than whether they are virgins or not. Women are more than their sexuality. Women are their talents. They are their careers and are more than mere accusations and boundaries someone else imposed in this world. Women are more than the number of men they have slept with. Sex education, awareness, and understanding of each gender’s sexual desires are essential to break this ridiculous chain of understanding about women and womanhood.

We must teach kids – all genders – that sex is an emotional entanglement. Sex is not sacred. Sex is physical and emotional. It builds a more robust connection if there is a specific understanding and an emotionally vested partner. It can help in mental and emotional well-being. As much as it is your choice, regardless of your gender, it must be a mindful decision. You must be aware of what you are doing and where you are. As long as you are conscious and in control of who you are, nothing else will make any difference. It is a choice the individual makes.

In Indian society, the concept of virginity has traditionally been a significant aspect of cultural beliefs and values, particularly for women. It is often considered a symbol of purity and moral character and is linked to premarital chastity. However, this concept has been changing with the rise of feminism and changing attitudes toward sexuality. Despite this shift, the idea of virginity continues to carry significant weight in many parts of Indian society, particularly in rural areas and among conservative families.

Let us build a healthier society for our future generations. Let us teach our kids to respect each other not based on physical attributes but on their existence. Each person is unique and deserves to be celebrated despite their sexuality. Let’s make this world a better place for all.


Aakanksha Dinah, a passionate writer, orator, communicator focused on establishing a Training institution centered on creativity and innovation. Aakanksha is a true believer in loving the work we do and strongly believes in smart-work, the reason why creativity works better for her. Aakanksha is enormously focused on making a career in professional writing and publishing. She loves writing poems, self-help articles, and essays. An enthusiast when it comes to learning languages and in short, Aakanksha is a wanderer, an explorer, a mom, a dog-mom, a poet, a cook, a writer, and an influencer.

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