Learning to stand up for yourself simply means you are looking out for yourself. It’s for your well-being and to improve your mental health. In short, you are maintaining your self-worth when you stand your ground. Being nonresistant in difficult circumstances can make you feel like you have let yourself down. This often leads to passive aggression. This is like a pressure cooker building up steam and about to whistle, you too will begin to lose your cool at the slightest nudge.
Standing up for yourself technically brings about the need for you to STOP being a pushover. Or a constant people pleaser. Many people crumble under the weight of pleasing others or having this constant little voice go “what will people think of me?” Well to be honest, as long as you learn that your self-worth does not depend on external factors as much as it does from within you then you are on the right track.
What helps you learn to stand up for yourself? Unlearning old habits of self-doubt and building the confidence to put your foot down. Rest assured this won’t happen overnight, but the journey to improvement starts with the first step. Remember Rome was not built in a day, it was built over many days! And so will your skill in taking a stand. It is not an impossible task.
Here are few somethings that can
support you jump-start this journey.
Set plans for yourself
Some of us get over-excited while setting goals that are nearly impossible to meet. And when we sit back and view these Herculean goals, we are content just looking at them and saying “I will get to it tomorrow!” Sound familiar? While setting goals it is important to set goals that are attainable and inspire you to achieve them. Set smaller goals that add up to a larger goal. Likewise, remember to even celebrate smaller milestones and treat yourself as you achieve them.
Develop a positive attitude
Focus on the good. It is easy to forget the good and focus on all that’s not working for you. As human beings our default button makes us view only that which brings us down rather than picks us up. A good way to do this is to practice being grateful.
Practice the attitude of gratitude
Having an attitude of gratitude means making the conscious habit of showing appreciation regularly. We have to be grateful for relationships, health, friends, food, running water, and being alive. It helps to remember that every day is a gift to be lived to its fullest.
Open yourself up to having a good laugh
It is true laughter is the best medicine. When you laugh you allow stress and pain to fade away. Enjoying light-hearted fun is what children do best. A toddler laughs close to 300 times a day, while adults, a measly 20. Why? Because we have decided the world is a bad place. It might be, but happiness and joy in the little things can turn that frown upside down.
Spend time with like-minded people
The saying show me your friends and I will show you who you are is a true one. They say if you surround yourself with 5 happy people, you become the sixth. It is the same with success and negativity.
Practice self-talk
Give yourself positive self-talk. This helps you to the whole picture, not just the negative aspects of any given situation. When you use more positive self-talk, you are more likely to build confidence and self-esteem, feel more in control of events in your life, and achieve your goals. Start every day with a smile and a positive note. Nothing can beat that!
Believe in yourself
No one knows you better than you know yourself. So trust in yourself and it will give you surprising results. All this can become a possibility when you learn to be assertive. Being decisive means that you can stand up for yourself and others without being confrontational. You will be able to say no without hurting others. You will know when to put your foot down without trampling others’ feelings. Assertiveness can also bring with it good body language.
And invariably remember not to become pompous. Assertiveness brings out positive body language. This can be used to bring about respect, agreement, and more importantly trust. Assertiveness also helps you deal with conflict in a calm and collected manner. This means you don’t have to lose your mind every time you face a tough situation. Being polite but firm with your response helps keep situations neutral and positive. Keep working on yourself, you are after all the star performer of your show!
Follow Ignatius Deepak Stanley
Art of How To 
Lovely read for a soulful Sunday. Much needed perspective. Especially in these uncertain times.
Absolutely 💯