So, are you an aesthete? Aesthete is a word in the American English dictionary which means a person who loves and appreciates works of art and beautiful things – anything handcrafted! Are you someone going out of their way to look for handmade artefacts and curios? Do you travel to see art and craft festivals in other cities? If you say yes to all the questions above, you are an art and craft enthusiast or an aesthete.

It is the gifting season and that time of the year when cities in India start wearing a festive look. Streets adorned with colourful streamers and artists displaying handcrafted products are the highlights of the winter months in almost every state. From December-February (and sometimes even March), nearly every city hosts art and craft festivals or a week dedicated to local artists. 

Apart from festivals, online too, stores are selling exclusively handcrafted and customized gifts like stationery, clocks, embroidery, Papier-mâché products, pieces of furniture, metal craft work, cloth puppets, pottery, clay pots, glass products, block print fabrics, ceramics, different types of paintings – glass, oil, pastel, wood, and materials. Antiques form a big part of every house now – wooden/ stone/clay/glass. Aficionados have unique corners reserved in their homes for the same. Thanks to this, a lot of gifting has now become handcrafted, encouraging local artisans to come forward. More people are becoming interested in learning how to make things and gifts. 

Many artists and artisans are conducting online and offline workshops during art fairs, festivals, and on market days. Seeing many DIY (Do It Yourself) kits to make your artefacts in stores is also enjoyable. In addition, children are becoming more interested in making their gifts. Isn’t it a thrill to see a smile and a look of surprise on your loved ones’ faces when they open your gift?

Handmade gifts have always retained their charm over the years. It is still special to receive a handmade card or a gift from loved ones vis-a-vis a readymade gift. I know a gift is a gift, and what matters is the giver’s heart and intentions. Still, there is something magical about opening the strings of a box to discover a handmade piece of jewellery or stationery. To date, I cherish handwritten cards and handmade gifts from my loved ones. 

I encourage my son to make gifts for his friends rather than buy from the shop. The biggest reason is we all will remember these gifts years later and even the person who gifted us. It is the most beautiful moment to open that treasure box years later to discover scribbles in old books, diaries, small origami boats, planes, and artwork given to us by our childhood friends. I still have handwritten letters from my childhood buddy. We both reminisce about those letters and postcards to date and joyously share them with our children now. Letters are gifts in themselves too. Stones wrapped in toffee wrappers, marbles in small cardboard boxes, cardboard, and paper coins, greeting cards (almost obsolete now!), colourful scrapbooks tied with strings, diaries with old pics pasted in them, old sketches of crushes, phone numbers, zodiac signs hurriedly scribbled in books – make you feel so good!

10 Reasons Why handmade Is Thoughtful

1. Personal touch

It is always a different feeling to be treated exclusively where you have the maker’s signature or print on the gift. The maker is your loved one putting extra effort into making you feel special!

2. Souvenirs for life!

Corporations these days love personalising the gifting to their employees. For example, some online retail stores have tie-up with local artists who make small curios or something that symbolizes the company. These remain lifelong with the company logo embossed in them.

3. Memory building

Each handmade gift will have a memory attached to it. For instance, the facility will always remind you of the occasion, date, and year of gifting. But, of course, you can create a memory box too. Then, years later, you will jog in your memory lane when you open it. 

4. Encouraging local artists

If you cannot make something of your own to gift your loved one because of the time crunch, you still have the choice to get a handcrafted gift. Look around your neighbourhood for local artisans and get them to make a customized gift for your loved one.

5. Eco-friendly

Raw materials for handcrafted items are from nature. Hence, they are environment-friendly and safe even for children. For instance, Assam is famous for all its bamboo products like dolls, baskets, toys, mats, shopping bags, and fans. These can be beautiful gifts for anyone.

6. Activates creative juices

It stimulates our brain cells to think out of the box to make different things. It challenges us to do things we usually don’t do.

7. Encourages socializing

Gifting makes sure you meet people and have human contact. Even the most reserved person would find motivation in meeting and gifting their loved ones.

8. Beats blues

Making something with your hands keeps you busy in your mind and helps drive away unwanted and depressive thoughts. It is a good distraction!

9. Children love it

A constructive activity for children to feel good about what they made. Also encouraging minimalism as well as creativity in children. Handmade is always good vis a vis the expensive gifts we buy for birthday parties.

10. Elders cherish it

Older generations have always cherished handmade gifts and even food we cook in the kitchen. Watching them beam with joy and pride if we make something of our own and gift them is a pleasure.

How many of you make gifts for your friends or loved ones? If yes, do share stories behind making gifts. Every handmade gift has a story to tell. Each moment counts, and it adds to all our memories.  So, happy gifting ‘coz we all have an artisan in us !

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No one showed me how I was to be treated. It may be something most women face. For years, we have been completely denying how a woman is to be treated right. It’s a different story that women are less appreciated and most often taken for granted. However, what is more noteworthy is that women tend to forget that certain boundaries need to be drawn, and they deserve to be treated with respect and empathy.

Women brought up in a family where the men treat the women the right way, know what to expect from the men in their lives. However, not all women are fortunate to have such a background. Many women face discrimination because of their gender right from childhood. This is true worldwide, regardless of which state or country you are from.

Men always have been given the upper hand over everything – from jobs to pay to even having fun! However, women are slowly trying to tear through the tight-knit stereotypes of how they are supposed to act and behave. With multiple hurdles to cross, women are steadily setting the lines straight once and for all.

As we speak about women trying to empower and nurture the lost essence of caring for and processing the feminine understandings, they are also allowing and submitting themselves to a mediocre partnership where they are neither treated as they are supposed to be nor are they appreciated for who they are. It happens because of the lack of guidance and mentoring when young. It is scientifically proven that women who have been victims of gender bias when they are young tend to fall for all the wrong men. It’s perhaps seeking out what is missing. The urge to get whatever is possible. This understanding of womanhood, this misunderstanding of who they are and how beautiful they are, throw them depression, anxiety, self-doubt, and lack of confidence.

If only each woman knows what she is capable of and what she deserves, she shall not settle for anything less. It is, therefore, our responsibility as a generation that knows values and what it is to be valued to show the youngsters what to expect and where to draw the line. Not only are the women to be educated on how they ought to be treated, but the men also are to be educated on the same. Men are to be made to realize that women are equally, if not more, capable and efficient in many walks of life, and it’s alright for them to take control. Wouldn’t it be so cool to have someone appreciate and cater to all your emotional and physical needs!? Well, why can’t you be that for yourself!? The more women seek happiness, love, compassion, and care from others, the more they will find it in deficit. Think about it…

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The Feeling In A Woman’s everyday Life

These scenes may sound like a familiar story from different families…or the same family with different individuals. And if I am guessing correctly, you assumed the person in the first scene to be a MAN while that in scene 2 to be a WOMAN!

Well, while we could debate the gender of the people in the two scenes, that is not the point here. The fact is the treatment of the situation by two different individuals. While both scenarios eventually ended on a good note, the 2nd one highlighted something else!

Scene 2 is the story of MOST WORKING WOMEN trying to balance a Career and Family. Scenario 2 highlighted excellent time management and situation management skills. But it also highlighted the extra labour the woman put in because of the Guilt she experienced when she heard her children crying and missing their mother. What this tells us is this – 

While women are great at time and situation management, what they are PATHETIC at, is – GUILT MANAGEMENT!!

Guilt is not a feminine trait; to be specific, all and sundry experience it. But women take it upon themselves to be present everywhere, do everything, and perfect every task/event/activity/notion. Yet, somehow, they believe they must look after everything well. 

Do Women feel more guilt than their Male counterparts?

OH YES! Most definitely. 

And there are reasons for that. But, whether it is social conditioning, moral chivvying, or family-emotional blackmail, they buckle under the pressure; after a while, they become a part of the same system that pulls HER down by this guilt-tripping.

The list of guilts she subjects herself to is mind-boggling, phenomenal, and through the roof. She feels (or is made to feel) guilt for…

• not spending ‘enough’ time with her children/family
• not be around to see her children grow up each day 
• not be there for them whenever they need her
• not be around for her family/friends
• not be able to give her 100% at work
• not be able to tend to her ambition
• not be able to get time for herself
• etc. etc. etc

When questioned about how she manages family and work, my friend once said, “Every day is bad for me. If I tend to work, my family suffers, and if I give into family pressures, work suffers!” Sadly enough, this is the story most women will vouch for experiencing personally. They live this 24X7, 365 Days a year.

Guilt, like any other, is an emotion. And it is subjective. It relates to a person’s judgment of right and wrong. Women have a solid inclination to ethics, moral virtues, and fairness. It, added to social and familial conditioning, makes the problem more vicious. 

It goes on to mean that the more moral values you assume and conduct yourself with, the more guilt you may experience when things go wrong (or even do not go as planned.) Moreover, they learn from the conduct and behaviour of their predecessors, i.e., other women in the family/society. These archetypes get deeply ingrained, become a part of the subconscious, and become their intrinsic ‘Nature.’

Over and above this, if you have experienced any past traumas as a child or a teenager, you tend to assume more guilt in adverse situations. It is usually a result of self-sabotaging thoughts you keep revisiting, wondering if somehow there could have been a way to salvage the situation. Could you have averted it? Even when things go well with you but not with others around you, you experience guilt – sometimes referred to as ‘Survivor’s Guilt.’

In essence…

More Morality = More Guilt 

More Empathy = More Guilt

More Assumed Responsibility = More Guilt

More Past Trauma = More guilt

No Trauma = STILL MORE GUILT!!

GREAT!

So, it’s just guilt, right? So, what’s the big deal? BAD NEWS – Guilt is more damaging than you think.

GUILT – How Damaging can it get?

Guilt does not ruin your moment, minute, hour, and day; it runs deeper. However, it can ruin your entire personality. Cumulative guilt can grow so intense that you may find it challenging to get through each day. It gets heavy slowly but steadily and eventually to levels where you find it hard to connect with loved ones, family, friends, and co-workers. Your self-worth is defeated, and you rush from task to task to accomplish everything in one day to feel worthy of being alive.

Personally, you live a battle each day. Tired, exhausted, and defeated every day.

Professionally, your colleagues only see an already-tired, unpassionate, and incompetent person!

So, is there a way to stop this vicious and self-sabotaging cycle?

HOW TO STOP FEELING GUILTY?

Is it possible to stop feeling guilty? How?

YES – And the answer is SELF-LOVE!

Close your ears to the world and indulge in unconditional Self-love. Take a break when you can. Stop negative self-talk. Do not even think of yourself as second or inferior to anyone. The other person may seem to be doing better than you, be able to achieve more and pack more in the day – but remember, ‘Balancing Work and Family’ is MYTH. So let me shout this into your ears one more time – ‘Balancing Work and Family’ is MYTH, MYTH MYTH.

Remember

• No one gets it all right. Even if they tell you, they can – don’t believe ‘em!
• Get more accepting of yourself, do whatever you can best in the day, and move on. 
• Understand that we may fail, and that is okay.
• Stop aiming for perfection lest you lose yourself. Not everything in the day will be ACE.
• Last and most importantly – Do not broadcast your life to people who don’t appreciate you. Know what legend says – People can’t ruin what they don’t know!!

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We are conditioned to crave the act of falling in love rather than the act of keeping it, so when we are in a long-term relationship, it is inevitable that the “spark” will die out. How many romantic comedies do you know that begin after the wedding and follow the characters as they go about their ordinary, everyday lives?

But the “spark” isn’t nearly as necessary as people make it out to be. There is something inherently reassuring about being with someone who makes you feel peaceful rather than having butterflies. Likewise, there is something much more enjoyable about gorging yourself on the couch and binge-watching true crime shows rather than going on fancy first-date dinners. A little spark prevents a lifelong connection from turning into a friendship. Below are a few simple things you can do to keep the spark alive in your relationship.

Offer to do something your partner loves but you don’t like: Going out for takeout from a Chinese restaurant when you prefer Japanese or suggesting a movie you know your partner will enjoy but find boring will go a long way. But, on the other hand, what’s a single evening of your significant other scarfing down noodles despite your dislike for them or making them laugh?

In relationships, compromise is necessary, but what is the secret to maintaining chemistry? Allowing your spouse to “win” without making any concessions. In other words, they choose their preferred options only to make them happy. So, rather than always making compromises, always give your loved one what they want. Putting your partner first will improve your relationship more in the long run than a dull movie or lousy meal.

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“Once upon a time” is a phrase most of us heard while growing up, and now our children hear from us. Storytelling is essential, “an interactive art of using words and actions to reveal the elements and images of a story while encouraging the listener’s imagination.” How many of you grew up listening to stories by your parents and grandparents? Most of you will nod and agree – mainly the 80s and 90s generations and the generations before. 

Family time was better back then, and we spent quality time together thanks to limited or almost no screen time. Storytelling was one of the mediums that kept us bound together. Traditionally, the best time for stories was always in candle lights. I am sure you just went into nostalgia mode because I just did too! I fondly recollect the time we kids would huddle up during power cuts and listen intently to all kinds of stories – fairy tales to spooky ones. The reason children and parents bonded well back then was also because of storytelling. That was the magic of storytelling.

As we grew older, we made our own stories and narrated them to our families. It became our time then, where we added characters and changed plots as we wished. We read stories aloud, too, and later enacted them. Storytelling became a part of our favourite playtime activities, where we played role-play. It was a fun and cathartic time when we did not worry about clocks, losing smartphones, or friends. Each day, someone new in the gang would come up with their stories or versions of fairy tales they read at home. Sometimes, a telly character would emerge from the narrative into our storytelling/weaving sessions. 

Cut to 2023. Stories and themes have changed over the years, and so has the storytelling style. Storytime has shrunk over time, too, because of parents’ long work schedules, children’s extra classes/tuitions, and often relegated to weekends. 

So why storytelling?
Here are a few reasons why it can be fun for Kids

Magic is everywhere and so are stories too. All you need is a story jar (you can create one – a glass bottle or jar). Ask your kids to write words of their choice in chits and drop them in them. Once you collect enough words, start weaving stories. So, you may not even need a book at times to tell a story. Storytelling is as simple as it is. So, get going and narrate a story. Imagine the same joy you felt as a child and the happiness on tiny faces as they light up listening to your stories.

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All the hype, high, and hurray is done. Now what? Somewhere in our minds, we faintly remember some last-minute end-of-year December last week promises. Frantically, you scrambled to the gym or not, stopped eating wrong, decided to walk more, and stayed connected more. Finally, the ball dropped on the new year, and the countdown was done. An old year has gone out in style, and the new year arrives with much-awaited resets happening. You are super excited, but you over-commit. And in a moment of clarity (Usually on Jan 2nd onwards), they seem to disappear or lose their charm. And, suddenly, poof! All the resolutions, promises, and last-minute promises seem more challenging to keep with each passing day. 

So after you make the resolves, you need to follow through. But, as mentioned earlier, it is getting harder to follow through once the high and hype of the year are gone. Mind you, and this is easy for a select few people. But again, only some people are the same.

Well, fear not. You are not alone in this situation. Unfortunately, nearly all of us forget or forgo our resolutions and go back to being as we were in the years gone by. 

So if you’re looking to track your New Year’s resolutions, there are a few different ways. First, you can use a planner or calendar to keep track of your goals and the progress you make toward achieving them. You can also use a to-do list or online goal-tracking tools like Habitica or Way of Life to break down your resolutions into smaller tasks or milestones that you can check off as you go. Additionally, if you’re looking for more accountability, you can share your goals with a friend or family member and have them check in with you on your progress.

A planner can help you stay organized and on top of your tasks. You can write down upcoming deadlines and meetings, create to-do lists, and keep track of important events. You can also use it to set goals and track your progress.

• Follow a to-do list. Make a list of tasks that need to be completed. This is called the to-do list or a laundry list of tasks.

• Prioritise the tasks in order of importance or urgency. Base this on the need of the hour and the end goal in mind. Start working on the most important or urgent task first. 

• Estimate how much time it will take to complete each task. Please give it a ballpark. A guesstimate will allow you to plan your day. Otherwise, you will get overwhelmed.

• Set a timeline for when each task should be completed. Someone once said a goal without a deadline is a dream.

• Break larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. Helps get more achieved.

• Take breaks as needed to stay focused and energized. 

• Track your progress and adjust your timeline as needed. Nothing is written in stone. At least resolutions are not! Also, have fun accomplishing them. Celebrate when all tasks are completed! 

• Get an accountability partner.

An accountability partner is someone who holds you accountable for achieving your goals. They provide support, motivation and help you stay on track. They can help you set realistic goals, track and measure your progress, and encourage you to stay focused on reaching your goals. They can also offer valuable feedback and advice when needed. You can find an accountability partner by asking friends, family members, or colleagues if they would like to be an accountability partner for you. You can also join online forums, such as Reddit, to find someone who is looking for an accountability partner. In addition, some websites and apps can help you find an accountability partner.

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2023 is moving at a fast pace. Since the new year, we all partied like there was no tomorrow and gorged on sumptuous food and delicacies. It was all feast & fun, booze & banter, love & laughter everywhere. Full On PARTY!! And like all good things come to an end, the party fever also faded gradually, and we are back to our jobs/chores/businesses. But, wait, we forgot something very inherent to New Year’s… 

The Resolutions!

We all make them, and we are guilty of breaking them too. OOPS! Yup. It’s that time of the year. Half our resolutions are already forgotten a week post-New Year’s Eve. But, like all other years, we make them and try to keep up with them, sometimes sincerely, and then break them just as systematically. 

The Resolutions are an exciting thing. We make these promises to turn a new leaf with the New Year. It promises to change something undesired, start something new we wish to incorporate into our lives or accomplish a personal or professional goal. While this can be done any time of the year, the start of a New Year feels like the perfect opportunity to say to yourself, ‘New Year, New ME.’

Let’s take a look at some most common New Year’s Resolutions that are made around the world (and broken around the world)

As good-intentioned as they are, we do our best to keep them going till at least the next DAY. But then the dreaded reality of daily routine strikes us, and our so-called ‘benevolent’ plans fail. OUCH!

Yes, it does. And it is more common than you think. If statistics are to be believed, most new year’s resolutions don’t live beyond the first month. A whopping 57% quit after the first month!

A good 1/5th of the resolutioners (i.e., my kind of people) will quit in the first week itself!! And only 1/10th of all will keep it running for the entire year. SIGH.

So, what goes wrong here? We had all the good intentions. Yes, we did try to keep it accurate. We kept up with it. So why do most resolutions fail?

REASONS MOST RESOLUTIONS FAIL

So, is it the End of the Road? 
Well, not yet…If we understand what causes the fall, we may be on the road to understanding how to keep it going.

HOW TO MAKE
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS WORK ?

So, my lovelies, even if you are one of my kind who cannot keep your resolutions beyond Week one, don’t lose heart. Lose your self-badgering and start ‘SMALL and STAY CONSISTENT’!!

“Cooking for children is not about ingredients, recipes, and cooking. It is about harnessing imagination, empowerment, and creativity.” – Julia Child. Indeed, cooking is a beautiful experience – a harmony of the three ingredients mentioned by Ms Child and with a dash of unique aromas and tongue-tingling food.

The age of two to ten is a phase of curiosity and learning new things from external experiences. Sensorial experiences rule this age range – taste, smell, vision, hearing, and touch. Of these, taste plays a dominant role in a child’s life. It is time for the child is exploring smells, tastebuds, and flavours. Once children cross four years, their tastebuds start becoming distinctive as well. It is the “my favourite food is this” phase. You will often be hearing about foods they love at this time. 

Have you thought about teaching your children cooking? Wait, most of you will gasp, I am sure, when I say this. Many of you may be thinking: “How can we teach children cooking? Aren’t they too young to learn it? Fire is dangerous, and so are hot vessels”. Well, as they say, you can never be too old or young to learn cooking. You can start with basics (minus knives, sharp objects, or fire). Yes, you can teach them how to do fireless cooking. Begin teaching basics at home, like a topping for a sandwich, encouraging them to spread the filling inside it or sprinkling from the herbs bottle (of course, all this with supervision), and applying cheese on a loaf of bread or paratha. There are many ways to introduce children to cooking at home. 

Just like home is a hearth for love, hopes, and dreams, a school is a hearth for beautiful memories and life skills. What you learn in school is irreplaceable and is for life. For example, cooking is one of the best life skills we can ever gift our children. They say you can survive anywhere in the world once you learn how to cook. 

There have been a lot of gender stereotypes surrounding cooking for years too. For instance, at home, it is a girl’s domain to cook in the kitchen, and boys need not learn to cook since a wife will cook for them in the future. Most of these myths are no longer there, but we still have a long way to go. 

Schools can do a lot to bust these myths by adding cooking to their curriculum. This way, all children can learn this valuable life skill. Have you imagined the school syllabus to have cooking as a formal subject? The higher classes in some schools in India have it as a part of life skills rather than as a separate subject. Mostly, it is only vocational schools in India that teach cooking separately as a subject. Mainstream schools do not do the same, though. 

Parents and teachers, trust me, you will be amazed when you see these tiny kids cook you unique dishes. A message to all the children, “learn how to cook and try out new recipes. It is okay to make missteps but do learn from them as well. Make the kitchen your fun zone and help your parents and siblings! Enjoy new flavours and aromas. Happy Cooking“.