Women Its All Your Fault

Women, all over the world, have heard it! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT.

For some lame rhyme or reason, we find it easy to blame a woman for all the wrongs in our personal, professional, social and oddly even in national, international and galactic issues! Even fellow women love beating each other down customarily. The reasons may be different – social conditioning, custom practices, personal gains, community ignorance, low literacy … The reasons are endless. But what is striking is its Prevalence!

Do you remember the time when one of the largest container ships, got grounded in The Suez Canal? People jumped to blame the ship’s Female captain, Marwa Elselehdar. Even though she was posted hundreds of miles away, somewhere in Alexandria! Even before any fact-checking, just because a female exists in the arena to blame, the masses blamed her. Meme and troll factories were working overtime to dish out fun ways to showcase the incompetency of women in a male bastion. What was even more amusing was once the world found out that it was a man’s fault, the entire euphoria died down. After wards it was just ‘an incident in history.’

Female blaming’s ubiquity is overwhelming and traumatizing. It cuts across customs, religions, cultures, and national boundaries. Everywhere and in every culture, it seems just EASY to blame a woman than to engage in any kind of introspection. Blaming ‘Her’ absolves us from the difficult task of analyzing the root cause of the problem, as also the frightening ramifications of realizing that the godly ‘WE’ may be the problem! And all the analyzing and soul-searching takes time. Who has got it? we got to work, feed our stomachs, build our families… so just blame a woman and get back to work! EASY, isn’t it?

Blaming a woman does happen in many intriguing ways. You name a problem that ‘She’ faces and one can turn around and blame it on the Woman HERSELF!!

1. Gender Bias

Obviously gender bias exists. Who better than women can vouch for it? It paralyzes all the effort a woman has put into educating or building herself. It works like a punishment for ‘being’ a Woman.

How is it her fault? 
She needs to be protected, as she is weak. So, in the name of protection, we give her less struggle (read opportunities), less work (read chances), and less exposure (read recognition). So we, as men and as a society, are essentially ‘protecting’ her, and still, the woman is not happy! You see how ungrateful she is. Isn’t it, her fault now?

2. Pay Disparity

Unequal pay for Equal work – Working women all over the world face this. Getting paid less for equal work (rather more work) is a corporate evil no woman has escaped. Research has established that women all over the globe get paid less for the same amount of work. Being equally capable and proving equal worthiness somehow still does not translate into equal compensation.

How is it her fault? 
Why not? What does she need so much money for? She doesn’t have a family to support or feed. Even if she is the only earning member, we are conditioned to believe that a Man supports and feeds a family. So why does she want equal pay? Greedy, isn’t she?

3. Sexual Violence

Cat cries, eve-teasing, or the more heinous – Rape. All these falls under the same umbrella with just rising degrees of barbarity. No woman needs an explanation of what sexual violence is. So let me not dig deeper into it else I might just open old sores.

How is it her fault? 
Oh! This one is my favourite. You see, she carries her body that entices men to look at her in unhealthy ways. She dresses provocatively. She is ‘asking’ for it. She ‘dresses’ for men to look at. She goes out (to work), so that is her decision to put herself in a dangerous situation. ……blah blah blah… the list is endless. The point is everything about sexual violence is blamed on the woman. Whether it is her dress, the way she carries herself, how she talks, dresses, drinks, her lipstick, her heels… everything is to be blamed. I remember one particular incident, where the rapist blamed the mannequins (dressed provocatively) and led him to commit rape. WHOA…. that’s a new one! Whatever happened to the self-control… it is the woman’s fault!

4. Educational Inequality 

This is where some sects of the society do not feel the need to educate the Femme fraternity. Eventually, all she had to do is manage the household and children, so many think she does not need a Degree. Even if that means she has a less opportune life, who cares? 

How is it her fault? 
If the woman is ‘too’ educated, she might just ask for her rights. The best is to keep her under-educated or illiterate, so she cannot comprehend what is rightfully hers. Her ignorance is Our Bliss! We provide her with food and shelter anyway, why does she need more? Greedy again! Her fault. God punishes Greed.

5. Social Discrimination

Women don’t need an introduction to this either. They face this cruelty every day. Everything is judged critically, and closely. The scrutiny a woman is subjected to in daily life is appalling. The impossible task of keeping everyone happy is the Woman’s job.

How is it her fault? 
From the family’s health to prosperity to education to conformity to traditional values, everything is the woman’s responsibility. So is the fault if anything doesn’t go great guns. And she has just this one job to do – keep everyone happy and she fails at this too? Then, the fault for being so incompetent is hers.

6. Glass Ceilings

When after all the trials of troubles, somehow a woman manages to continue pursuing her corporate dreams, she meets her most subtle foe – the Glass ceiling. Having sacrificed a lot in her life to see her one dream come true, she gets this punishment for dreaming Big. 

How is it her fault? 
A woman who has not been present for her family, her kids, her husband, her in-laws, and her parents; how is she good to head a Corporate? She lacks compassion and other human qualities; she cannot be trusted! She must be a ‘task-master’ and therefore a hard-nosed b$$$$h. Has not dreamt anything beyond ‘Money.’ Hence Greedy…so her fault!

7. Personal Judgements

Judgements galore! No end to this one. Women get judged by Men, Society, friends, contemporaries, their kind, their family, children, neighbours, plumbers, carpenters, etc etc etc…No one spares her.

How is it her fault? 
Well, I told you in the beginning, it is E-A-S-Y to blame a woman and get back to our lives. I mean, what can she do anyway? No court of law recognizes any of this as a punishable offense or even an ‘offense’ in the first place. We have mouths to feed, houses to build and we ain’t got the time to ponder on whose fault it is, so we blame a woman and get on with our lives. How is it her fault? She is a woman – Simple.

It is heart-breaking, to say the least. And it hurts even more when the blame game and finger-pointing is a Woman’s. They say “The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world.” But in reality, “The hand that rocks the cradle, takes the BLAME.” Is there a resolution? I am speechless, and I don’t have a solution. Anyone out there know of a solution?

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