Get Your Girl Squad NOW

Good energy, positive vibes, 3 am friends, hangout buddies, impromptu movie-popcorn sessions, unlimited laughter, and crazy souls – all rolled into one are your girl buddies. If you have one, cherish them for life!

I am sure all of you have such a girl gang who are ready to wake up in the middle of the night to hear you rant, vent and cry! But, just like a boy gang, a close-knit girl gang has the power to lift you, boost you when you are at your lowest, and fight for you with anyone in the world! A girl squad around can be your best pillars of strength. 

The first visual I get of a girl squad on reels are my favorite “Sex and The City” gang – sexy, sassy, sophisticated, classy, and wild. Fans of this series and movie will have a favourite character. My all-time favourite is Samantha Jones (played by Kim Cattrall), a sassy, bold, and brash yet caring PR professional. This mid-40s girl always shares her affairs and dating adventures with her girl gang, peps them up and is always by their side when the band needs her advice! Followed by her, I love Carrie Bradshaw (played by Sarah Jessica Parker in the same movie). She is a columnist for a leading newspaper and is highly independent. Yet, no matter how much her emotions rule her, she is always balanced and rational regarding her friends – already with tissue boxes and advice. Another series that has been extremely popular and given girl squad goals is “Four More Shots Please” (S1 & S2). A story of four women in Mumbai who are carefree, wild, and unapologetically flawed and who stick by each other in all situations – hookups, breakups, one-night stands, or even boyfriend blues! There are myriad such series and movies on girl squads on all digital platforms. 

*Do mention your favourite reel/celluloid character or a girl gang in the comments section*

In real life, too, I have been extremely fortunate to find a powerful girl gang wherever I went. No matter how many cities I changed, wherever I traveled, or jobs I switched, all my girlfriends have been a cocktail of sexy, sassy, sophisticated, bold, classy, and wild. I can still text or message them at any time of the day/night. 

10 Perks of Having a Girl Squad

1. Tell you why you should and could go wrong and how you can pick yourself up after you go down.
A crazy gang can only do this; they will stick by your side and push you to do things you haven’t done.

2. Pull you up when you are at your lowest and tell you that you are the best!
Be it a breakup, a bad day at work, or anything that has ruined your day, girlfriends are sure to give you a hug, take you for a drink, and perhaps even challenge you to do things you have never done!

3. Fight for you when you are losing and root for you when you are winning. 
They will be the first to throw a sucker punch at anyone messing around with you. They help you size up your enemies and make sure that you win every battle! 

4. Acknowledge and validate your feelings and emotions, and reinforce positivity. 
Your girl squad will be the first to gate crash your house, bring a tissue box, and lend you their unconditional listening. They will be the only ones to understand and empathize with you. It could even be an impromptu party at your place to celebrate a workplace promotion or the success of your project. They will do anything to boost you up!

5. You are the best critic if you choose the wrong path as well. 
If they find you embarking on a wrong route, they will be the first to drag you off the track and lash at you. In the whole wide world, they will be the ones to still stick by you and your choices. They might look like they will leave you (seeing their reactions) but believe me, they won’t!

6. They can be your best travel buddies. 
Whether you are single or married, you can take a trip with them to any part of the world together. Hang out, chill, and relax. They will have the best travel tips for you as well.

7. You can be yourself – your true, raw, unfiltered self. 
You can be your wildest and craziest with them. Not to worry about how they will view you. Perks of a girl gang: have an impromptu dress-up session, click selfies and do a ramp walk! Try out the craziest foods and recipes with them. 

8. Non-judgemental, unconditional love – You can be YOU with them! 
Only ones to form a circle and include you in every part of their life. The bonding is priceless.

9. Best emotional wellness boosters 
You don’t need a therapist if you have a strong girl squad! They make up for all the experts, and life coaches in the world – always full of the right advice – age no bar!

10. Age no bar 
They are your soulmates and ones with whom you can grow old. You can make all your “forever” plans and bucket lists with them and they will make sure you do it all!! Nothing will ever be missed out. 

Girls have changed the history and trends of countries. If they come together, you can be double sure they will make a wave wherever they go. Most campaigns worldwide, including the famous #MeToo campaign, prove that girl squads are powerful. Be it workplace harassment, sexual harassment, or abuse, girls stick by their tribe! They have the power to influence the society around them. They are pure rule breakers and can shake the world. Be it Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or any social media platform, you can see how trollers can get reverse-trolled by girl gangs and made to shut up! No injustice is tolerated. None can mess with them!

So, girls, what are you waiting for? Find your tribe (if you still haven’t). Get your gang, plan a trip, a lunch date or a cuppa and explore the world. Don’t ever let go of each other ‘coz “Why should you not have fun!”

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Breast Feeding And Milk Banks

Breast milk is also called liquid gold, which is literally “gold” for a baby since it is the most precious lifetime gift. Gold is precious, and so is mom’s milk, hence the comparison. Her milk is full of nutrition and has all the supplements needed to sustain a baby outside the womb. A baby inside the womb has all the warmth and nourishment to survive. But after the child’s birth, the outside environment we provide the baby, along with the equivalent nutrition it receives inside the mother’s womb, is crucial for its survival. 

The “Golden Hour” is considered the most important for every baby. It refers to the first hour after birth when the baby needs feeding via skin-to-skin contact with the mother. The mother’s warmth is crucial to a baby’s survival; hence the term. Once this golden hour crosses, consider the baby survived the critical phase.

After childbirth, a mom’s body naturally tailors to produce milk for the baby. But most people think a mom’s milk is insufficient and must introduce solids early. Even the World Health Organization certifies that a mother must feed a baby for at least two years (a minimum of six months). 

A disclaimer here: The article is not to look down on mothers who are unable to feed their babies or made a choice not to. It is perfectly okay if a mother knows what she is doing and is happy. Breastfeeding alone cannot define motherhood. It is not an easy journey for any mom, so let's create a beautiful, empathetic space for all mothers. 

Not-enough-milk shaming?!

Sadly, there is still a majority of people who still do not give much importance to a mother’s milk in our country. They underestimate the power of breastmilk and often shame a mom for not producing enough milk and introducing the formula early. So, how do people conclude that a mother’s milk is not enough? A child crying. Each cry need not be for milk. There may be myriad reasons like distress, anxiety, sadness, or simply wanting to be comforted. More often than not, a mother gets blamed for producing less milk and hence enters the hero: the formula. Most families fail to understand that a newborn’s tummy is as big as the human fist; consequently, the body only makes the milk needed at that stage; since the stomach is still small and growing, the need to feed frequently. As the baby grows, the supply increases as the mother keep providing. Unless a medical complication and a mom cannot generate enough milk naturally, no good pediatrician will prescribe the formula. So, mothers under pressure from families about your supply, please consult a lactation consultant near you and get the needed counseling. Breastfeeding is all about demand and supply. So, a growing baby will feed continuously or frequently. 

World Breastfeeding Week & Nursing in public

We all know about the importance and benefits of breastfeeding. The World Breastfeeding Week is observed every year between August 1-7. Networks across the globe celebrate the week through various awareness events, workshops, and sessions for parents and families. In the last few years, another movement has caught momentum – Nurse in public. Many mothers do not feel free to feed their babies in public spaces for fear of being looked down. This movement has also encouraged more mothers to start feeding their babies outside their homes. Breastfeeding needn’t mean staying indoors 24×7. Moms can move freely and travel comfortably (and lighter too). All they need is suitable clothing and covers to use in public spaces to feed. Normalizing breastfeeding in public is the aim, so mothers don’t get uncomfortable stares. Even be confined to closed rooms or smelly washrooms. There are visible changes everywhere – commercial spaces have designated corners/clean feeding rooms for mothers who want to feed babies or change diapers.

My Journey

I am completing eight years of motherhood with my son, and I feel blessed I could feed my baby for 4.8 years till he self-weaned. At the same time, I have had friends whose babies have self-weaned early or chosen to wean them. It always is the mother’s choice to do this. Every mom has the right to do so. It is perfectly okay if a mom doesn’t want to breastfeed her baby or continue to feed beyond the minimum time certified by the WHO. No mother should be looked down upon for her choices during her motherhood journey. Her options are not to be used as labels for whatever she chooses for herself and her baby. We do not know why or under what circumstances she chooses an unavoidable decision, so we have no right to judge her motherhood journey either. 

For mothers who cannot feed and still want their babies to receive human milk, it is possible to do so through human milk banks. There are Milk Banks at select government hospitals and a few private entities in some cities. These initiatives are a lifesaver even for infants who have lost their mothers. 

History of Human Milk Banks

The first human milk bank was established in Mumbai in 1989 in the Lokmanya Tilak municipal medical college. The National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI), USA, in its study on comprehensive lactation management systems in India, formed 22 human milk banks 22 between 2005 and 2015. By 2021, 90 human milk banks should have been established. Mothers can now access human milk at no cost, thanks to initiatives like these. They have to approach the milk bank and tell their requirement. It is thanks to mothers willing to donate their milk to these milk banks. 

Indeed, a golden era for breastfeeding; many babies have survived the crucial phases of their survival thanks to the human milk banks. A prayer to all those mothers who have donated their milk to these tiny souls. 

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Happiness Quotient At Work

Years ago, I had journaled about negativity at the workplace. Those were my earlier years of employment. My first taste of negative people and office politics. As Interns, we were supposed to follow a hierarchy, do what is told and never question, and sometimes even fraternise according to how they wanted us to. If we did not do as expected, we would endure a different treatment than what others received (read: being left out of vital projects). Little did bosses and colleagues understand then, the importance of workplace positivity and connection to productivity. Most of the time, the management had stringent rules set for work and we ended up blindly following them. I have heard about it from almost all my friends who have undergone this pressure and negative environment. It is also one of the primary reasons for attrition in most organisations, then and even now. When employee satisfaction hits a low, organizations experience a lot of exits as well.

Upon some reflection, a realisation dawned how no one thought of workplace happiness even until a decade ago. All we thought was to complete our day’s targets and end the day as quickly as possible. Most of the time we were burnt out too. The biggest reason for our frustration was how the management never bothered to find out the reasons for the low outputs and errors we made. There were no efforts to liven the workplace and conduct training sessions for beginners/trainees. Professional relationships could have been more beautifully developed if there was inclusivity – seniors and juniors at one table discussing the work on a particular day together and brainstorming for solutions. Hierarchies dominated. As part of human nature, we all focused on the negatives faster than the positives – bad bosses, scheming colleagues, vile support staff. We rarely focused on boosting the energy of the workspace or our productivity.

Interestingly, this week is globally observed as the International Week of Happiness at Work – September 19-23. Some organisations do give their employees a day off from work but celebrate it with games and fun. It becomes an open house for kids to come and see the workplace where their parents work.

But why restrict this to one particular day in the whole year? Why not make every day a happy day for employees? Work can be made fun with the required seriousness too. There are many in People Operations and Life Coaches who explain the importance of happiness in and at a workplace and suggest simple ways for the same. The New CEOs and heads of organisations are setting new goals for management. Workspaces are being redesigned, and becoming more vibrant and spacious, and modifying policies to benefit workers. So, what are you waiting for? Let’s spice up our workplace as well.

10 Ways To Hike Happiness @ Work

1. Morning Tea/Coffee Meet 

Having a short chat at the beginning of the work day over a hot cuppa tea or coffee is a good ice breaker and start to a work day. Strategies or goals for the day can be chalked out. A smile exchanged, is a great way to begin the day. If there are employees who are working from home, the meeting can happen with them over a video call too.

2. Rejig Teams At Regular Intervals

Bosses can rejig teams for better productivity. Fresh ideas can energise the team as well. Innovations can be welcomed better by teams too. Of course, please do this after talking to the team. An open conversation always helps.

3. A Date For Offbeat Topics

Fix a particular day in a month to talk about anything apart from work. A small panel discussion or a debate can be organized by employees/managers. Perhaps, you can bring a speaker to talk about any topic too – anything but mundane. There is something to look forward to for employees other than work too.

4. Striking A Healthy Work-Life Balance

Work smart must be the mantra. In other words, utilising work time for work alone and encouraging better time management skills for projects. If this is done, most employees wouldn’t need to work overtime (unless it is needed). This means lesser burnout and going home on time. In addition, ensuring that the weekends are reserved for family time.

5. Vision Boards 

Experts say that having a vision or goal in front of you will motivate you to work better towards the target. Get creative and decorate the vision board/soft board. Place the board at your desk – basically a collage of images (cut and pasted) related to the project you are working on. A daily look at this board will keep you motivated to complete the project with finesse. 

6. Place Indoor Plants 

Plants are known to spread good energy and positivity at work places. They add to the aesthetic value and design of the office. Of course, keep plants that are low maintenance and spread positivity like Peace Lily, Bamboo, Cast Iron plant, Snake plant and Ferns.

7. Awarding Employees 

Praise or recognition of the hard work put in by employees can go a long way in increasing happiness levels. A small pat on the back or praising him or her for small tasks done to big projects getting accomplished at a short notice/deadline will go a long way in releasing happy hormones. 

8. Team Bonding Retreats

Having occasional team outings like lunch or dinner outside or even a get together with the team can charge up employees. It goes a long way in connecting better with teammates.

9. Career Booster Sessions

Looking beyond your horizon goes a long way in boosting organization-employee happiness levels. Encouraging employees to have long-term career goals is a great motivation. This may or may not be your last company to work so it is a good idea to have your skills upgraded now and then. A good company will organize training and on-field sessions with experts from the industry. Experts can provide professional guidance to work better and plan careers effectively too. 

10. Know Your Employees (KYE) 

Organizations earn a lot of brownie points for making efforts to remember employees’ work anniversary details like honouring their one or many years at the firm, celebrating their victories, acknowledging their success in achieving the target et al. It feels good to be known individually and be remembered on their special days. Good and bad!

Signing off with this great quote by Steve Jobs, “your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”

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Loyalty Codes

Once upon a time… That is how loyalty is becoming now – fictional. Do you believe in this? Read on…

We all have these storytelling sessions for our children and we ourselves have had with our grandparents during childhood. Right? Yes, most of us will have these stories in our memories about friendship, love, loyalty, and relationships. 

As children, loyalty had special definitions. We would share the deepest secrets with our best friends and be so sure they would not be exposed. None of them would tell out these secrets. If loyalty were to be given a colour, then I would describe it as black and white. There are no grey areas in it. There is no half loyalty. And as children, loyalty mattered a lot to us. We stood by each other no matter what. Never gave away secrets. 

This remains till date for all childhood friends even after entering adulthood. We all share such bonhomie that even at 40, they still check in to see if someone’s messing around with us or if our secrets were being given out. Until we reached our teens, this loyalty was still there among friends. 

After entering adult aka work life and social networking friendships, while making new friends, I realized this loyalty was missing among them. Loyalty got diluted with ego. If one stopped talking to you, there was no conversation for days together until I initiated the conversation or chose to do the icebreaker myself. It became easy for misunderstandings to brew and before you even realize it, the “friend” would have cross-talked about you to another friend. But yes, I did manage to get lifelong friends with my colleagues too. Having worked across the country, I can vouch for amazing, loyal friends to cherish for life. 

Loyalty is sticking by our loved ones through highs and lows. No matter what the situation is; happy or sad, we stand by them and support them unconditionally. This means accepting them for what and how they are. 

Every relationship in life has different shades of loyalty. For instance, friendship demands we stay by our buddies and defend them against all odds and be with them in all adverse situations. It doesn’t mean that we can’t be with them when they are happy. Sharing all kinds of moments with them is a part of the loyalty code as well. 

Apart from human loyalty, we have brand loyalty too. Those who are brand conscious stick to the same brand just like “till death do us apart”. I know you must try hard not to smirk reading this but you will anyway! We are all loyal to some product or the other. And some aren’t brand loyal too. If a better product comes in, won’t we switch? The context here is human loyalty though. Are we all loyal? to others? to ourselves? The answer is everywhere. Look around and the proof is crumbling relationships. The root cause of most crumbling relationships (family/friendships/marriages) today is the lack of loyalty and honesty. Both these go hand-in-hand.

So, can we build loyalty? Is it measurable? The first answer is yes, we can. The second answer is that we cannot measure it. It is completely subjective. Subjectivity means it differs with every individual. One cannot generalise it to everyone. But loyalty is something that can be built over some time through growing bonds in any relationship. 

How can we build loyalty then? I know most childhood gangs have loyalty or a “bro” code.
These codes have the following basic tenets –

1.    One friend mustn’t talk behind the other’s back. 
2.    Honesty and transparency are extremely important.
3.    Clear communication. Avoid shadow boxing (indirect statements/confrontations or avoiding important topics)
4.    No unhealthy competition among friends.
5.     Be as real and honest as friends – be your purest self!
6.     It is okay to be a critic.
7.     Accept your friend’s ties unconditionally unless you see that they are harming your friend.
8.    Play the DJ not only at the party but after party too. Hanging out with friends after the party to make sure they are fine. Help clear all mess!
9.    Giving space to your friends and letting them be themselves when they want to be left alone.
10.  Empathy is important.
11.   Be a listener instead of doling out advice. Sometimes all they need is a good ear and a shoulder to lean on.
12.  Taking a back seat is good at times – Quit being a hero and let your friend take the limelight.
13.  Lastly, the most important code of friendship is to keep secrets safe and intact with you – no matter what.

A true friend will never let you down even if the world is out there to pull you down! So, make friends carefully. The above-mentioned codes aren’t meant to be written in stone. They are good to strengthen your friendship and all bonds. But these can change with time. A friendship that began in childhood may change flavours as you grow older. Be prepared for those changes. Loyalty codes can change as well but do not change yourself! It is important to be yourself while being there for your friends without changing your true self. And that is the key to being loyal to your friends!! 

Hence, do not despair if you find loyalty codes changing. People may change but bonds and emotions won’t! So, relax and be calm as you observe friends “changing”. These changes may be just temporary and they may just be going through some transitions or milestones.

I love to believe in this – “Friendship and loyalty are like good ol’ wine. They mature as years go by!”

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Vaastu

A perfect home-ly recipe! If you are an atheist or a non-religious person, there are lesser chances that you may not accept Vaastu or its effects. But from homeowners to those in the real estate or construction enterprises, architects to builders will vouch for this science. Vaastu Shastra is a science of space or building. It advises on space optimisation using the elements focused on earth, fire, air, water, and ether.

This is one of the many stories I have heard. I thought of sharing this with you. A factory on the outskirts of a metro used to be riddled with fights, conflicts, and constant tensions between the management and factory employees. The CEO was struggling to keep the factory up and running – strategizing on expansion as well. He was fed up thinking of ways to appease the labourers and management as well. Finally, he decided to consult an architect outside the company who said that he would visit the site for inspection. As soon as the architect came and started studying the place, he found many construction mismatches and glitches in the structure. The architect who was aware of the management-employee conflicts and tension in the current arrangement found a lot of ill harmony in the atmosphere there. So, using Vaastu, he re-designed and made a new blueprint for the existing site. He suggested the location of the units of the factory be changed and also the office be re-designed. Right after this, the CEO announced to the labour union about his expansion plans and re-building of the factory units, motivating workers to put their best, also mentioning the benefits of the changes. After some resistance and reluctance, the union agreed and the CEO gave a green signal for the re-designing and structural changes. The factory systems started changing, shift timings changed and employee-management relationships began improving too. A lot of things began aligning themselves once the physical changes in the structure began. Once the new establishment came up, the company’s turnover started increasing. The growth trajectory showed positive highs. The above is one of the many instances where Vaastu helped create positive changes in a workplace just by simply re-aligning the elements. 

In a home too, as per Vaastu it is vital to place every object in the house in a certain direction that will enable harmony with all the elements. It makes a huge difference when things are placed in the proper directions. Most homeowners or potential home builders will take the help of an architect with sound knowledge of Vaastu to design a home. Or some may consult a vastu pandit.

So, what is Vaastu?

For the unversed, it is a science used to construct buildings and spaces using scientific techniques. It follows rules, formulas, and patterns for the construction of a house. In other words, Vaastu helps usher harmony and positive cosmic energies into families using calculations of the rainfall, sunrise, and sunset in the area, which will impact the construction of a house. According to Vaastu Shastra (science) and ancient Hindu scriptures like the Mahabharata, the first architect was Vishwakarma who conceptualised Vaastu scientifically to construct the Wax palace for the Devas/Gods. Archaeologists still marvel at the science behind building such strong temples that have survived the worst storms and floods to date. Structures have remained intact without tilting even slightly during the highest-level earthquakes and Tsunamis. No matter how much cynics shove away “myths” behind Vaastu, the vaastav (or reality) is that we have living proof of the positivity and abundance this unique science has brought to our lives. If not for capable architects, most structures would have collapsed by now.

Vaastu is a beautiful harmony of the various elements of nature which constitute any structure. For instance, the Akash/Sky represents the West and symbolizes “expansions and enhancements”. Wind/Vayu represents the East and the Northeast and symbolizes happiness. Fire/Agni represents the South, symbolising power and fame. Jal/Water represents the North, symbolising spirituality and healing. The final element is Earth, which represents the Centre, symbolising stability, peace, and harmony.

It is alright to not believe in this science but those who do believe will vouch for a lot of positive changes that transformed their life.

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The Art Route-Teens To Tots

Art is an expression for everyone, and children are no exception to this. It is a way of telling the world about what you are thinking and feeling. It has been a sign language for ancient civilizations to communicate with one another. The biggest proof is ancient cave paintings made that depict life at that time. Cave artworks have tons of stories to tell us.

How many of you were encouraged to draw and paint when you were little? Do you still have those sketches that you drew? Do go back if u still have those drawings and trace the stories you told as a child. On the same note, let me ask another question: how many of you encourage art for your little ones? Visual or Performing Arts?

The emphasis on encouraging art for children has increased in current times. At homes and schools. Though, there are still a large number of folks who still believe in the myths about arts and discourage children too.

New age education is increasingly fostering sensorial play with colours, sand, and all objects around – creating designs and shapes of animals, things, and humans. The idea is to improve visual learning. Performing Arts is also given special importance, and concepts are being taught through role plays in preschools and higher classes.

Visual arts comprise the following elements – the colour, form, line, shape, space, texture, and value. Each of these elements represents something that sets every piece of art apart. A mix and match of the above-mentioned elements are what makes any visual artist’s work stand out. While some may use colours and forms, others may use lines and shapes and some others may use space in art. Performing arts encourages the use of expressions, pitch, and tones through body language.

There are “art streets” or art markets organized in every city of the world these days. These art streets have people from all walks of the artistic arena performing or showcasing their skills – right from drawings, paintings, puppetry, digital art, murals, 3D floor art, graffiti, dance, mono acts, street plays – you name it and you will find it there. There is no power in the world to match the power of art. The language it conveys is extremely powerful and lends a beautiful medium to one and all.
It is wonderful to see many children blossoming into all kinds of arts – print, digital, performing arts, and other art forms. Children are natural artists if left free. They learn organically since their young minds absorb and comprehend a lot. Take any drawing or painting of a child and you will find all these elements in them.

Art gives children the scope to think, move and act freely without getting judged. All emotions flow easily once they start using colours and experimenting with shapes and forms. What we call modern art, maybe a child’s story. A child can convey his or her emotions in the form of a beautiful art piece.

Over some time, art developed a negative connotation and many myths were formed.
Hence, the art of any kind wasn’t encouraged for children as well. Following myths were floated:

1.  Art is a waste of time; has no or limited career scope
2.  Art will reduce the scores in school and college
3.  Art is fancy; only for the elite
4.  Art for the intellectuals
5.  Art is for emotional fools
6.  Art only flows in artistic families or families with artistic genes
7.  Not everyone can become an artist.
8.  You need connections to make a career in art or make it big in the art world.
9.  Once art in any form is encouraged, a child will wave goodbye to books
10. Art is temporary happiness

Out of all these mentioned, the last myth is the most heartbreaking. Art unlike what people think is a distraction for children enhances focus and concentration. Creativity helps in problem-solving and helps children learn concepts better. Drawing can be a tool for children to learn any new concept and also be used as a “peg” to remember points. Once you have a visual of the concept you are studying, it becomes much easier for the child to assimilate concepts. Whether it is a tot or a teen, and even adults for that matter, art makes beautiful memories for a lifetime.

Art Mood spoilers AKA “Editors”

Another common mistake that most parents make is to “correct” art or say “this is not good enough” after seeing their child’s artwork. This is a way of telling the child to make the art “perfect”. But artists and psychologists will tell you that while “editing” a child’s art, you are in effect cutting their wings of imagination. There are no such things as perfectly straight lines/cubes/squares or any shapes. 

Art is one medium where there can be no “right” or “wrong”. So, it is better to let the child be free while letting them express themselves. Many therapists and psychologists use visual art as a tool to evaluate the mental wellness of a child. The usual practice is to ask the child to draw anything they like. The colours they use, and the expressions on the human/animal faces give them an idea about the emotions running through the child. Art helps in the emotional and cognitive development of the child. The more visuals a child uses to express himself or herself means the child’s emotional quotient (EQ) is extremely high. These days, psychologists emphasize EQ more than IQ. It reflects upon the child’s problem and conflict-resolving abilities in inter and intra-personal relationships.

There is a quote that I strongly believe in: “Art lies in the eyes of the beholder just like beauty.” In the same way, it is the way you see art. Every person will have their interpretations of art or any artwork. It is true for performing arts as well.

Why do kids fall in love with art? When asked, they told me

1.  We love the colours – bright and vibrant.
2.  Gives us unlimited happiness.
3.  Love it as a hobby.
4.  Curiosity to experiment.
5.  To be an artist when we grow up.
6.  We can design buildings, cars.
7.  We can do whatever we want in a drawing or painting.
8.  Freedom to be ourselves – on stage, on paper.

The above made me reflect on how much we underestimate the power of art and the magic we can spread if we encourage art in future generations. Let’s raise a healthy, heartfelt generation of children who will make a beautiful space in this world and make it a better place to live in.

Signing off with a quote by Vincent Van Gogh: “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced”. Wishing the world to be filled with more artists and emotionally beautiful people!

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Be A Cycle Breaker

“Cycle Breaker!” Ever heard this term? As described by therapists and experts – a person who identifies toxic or dysfunctional attributes that exist in the culture of the family and chooses to toss these markers and swap them in for a better practice or for a change. In short they are someone who consciously change multi-generational family practices” So why break the cycle? There are practices, processes, and sometimes customs that are being blindly followed for generations without questioning, challenging, or reasoning. They are just being followed because our well-meaning predecessors and forerunners made those regulations. These have pushed relationships to fall apart, strained lives, and pushed people away. Unhappiness and an unhealthy atmosphere is created in families.

Is it really necessary to join the generational bandwagon? 
No 
Are those rules and traditions applicable to the current generation? 
No
Do we need to reinforce and impose those rules now? 
No
Can’t new methods be followed? 
Yes

Well, these are questions that “cycle breakers” often asks in their family while challenging the older generation. Mostly, there are never any straight answers except a line that is constantly mentioned – “our fathers and forefathers did so”. So, when you try to rationalize and find logic in these arguments, you end up getting labelled as “arrogant and rebellious”. This is not to generalize for every family. I am sure some families think differently as well.

One needs to understand that every generation is born with new ideas – own ways of solving problems, conflicts, dealing with happiness and sorrow, celebrations, ways of bringing up children and looking after the family. 

A set family structure that worked for decades on matriarchy or patriarchy will not work now. In the current generation, there is a sense of equality, sharing of responsibilities, mutual respect (minus terms and conditions), and zero toxic gratitude or apologies. Rarely can we see inter or intra-generational grudges now? Nothing gets carried forward. The earlier generations would view such bonds as transactional but from another perspective, it is sans any negative energies and expectations. Nothing is blurred, vague, or assumed in such relationships. Everyone has clarity in relationships. It is thanks to unlearning and breaking old principles and ideologies and giving way to new ideas. 

Youth are no longer limited to an age range. Even the “old” is in the “youth” range now because of their youthfulness and energies. Unlike older generations who had an age range set to 60+ (yes, according to government records, this is the age set for retirement too) as senior citizens and called old, the current generation or Gen Z’s way is to break the idea of “old”. If someone at 60 is energetic and bubbly, they are also considered “youth” or young at heart. That is one of the best ways to be a cycle breaker!

10 Reasons Why You Can Be A “Cycle Breaker” Too

1. Accept yourself and your ideals openly

This takes time but please do it first. If you don’t accept yourself as you are, others won’t take you seriously either. Self-love is the key. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself daily: Is this right? Am I comfortable with this?

2. Choose your path, make your blueprint 

Once you accept yourself, the next step is to create your map of principles, ideas, and ideals. A mental map will do.

3. You need to heal too!

It is important to heal your wounds – childhood or present traumas. Please ensure you get professional help for it too. This will strengthen you and empower you to stand up for yourself and others who need your help. Every person has his or her timeline for healing. So, take your time.

4. Make healthy boundaries; learn to say a big loud NO

Once you complete your healing process, your relationship with yourself and others will have undergone a huge change. There will be a lot of healthy lines drawn with your family and friends. It will become easier to say “No” when you have to say so. Toxic gratitude will not be imposed on you too.

5. Create Your Circle  

Healthy boundaries help create healthy relationships. So, you will attract like-minded, positive people who know the meaning of boundaries and consent. Your friends, your circle of trust you create is the one that will help you break cycles too.

6. Stand up for people close to you

Along with your tribe, you can build stronger, healthier communities where stereotypes are broken and meaningful discussions take place. There is rationality there and people can question old belief systems as well. You can support loved ones better when there is a healthy emotional quotient in families.

7. Break age-old traditions – no more generational grudges

As a cycle breaker, you can end family rivalries and inter-generational enmity to a large extent. You can take a stand and do what you feel is right. Make sure children do not carry the burden of the previous generation’s conflicts. Their bonds must remain unaffected by adult conflicts. That is where you break cycles.

8. Empower Gen Next to stand up for themselves

Cycle breakers break rules and teach the younger generation to do what they think is right. Nothing criminal or hurting people, but standing up against injustice and things they don’t like to do.

9. Question people and rules 

Asking questions is equivalent to challenging family authority. So, make sure you do a lot. It will make people think about the “rules” – do we need them? Is it applicable to the current times? These take time but once cycles are broken, people will reflect and think of changing for the better. Also, rules that make families unhappy and uncomfortable must be done away with.

10. Age no bar, gender no bar – rules are the same

A grand finale argument in any house by authority figures is using the “age card”. Younger members are asked to keep quiet and respect the “age”. If there is equality maintained in the family, age will not play such a dominant role in family matters. Youngsters can be given a chance to explain themselves rationally. Fights and loud arguments can be avoided too.

Breaking conventions is important for a healthy society and a healthier generation too. If something doesn’t agree with you, you need not follow it. A clean boundary line will make people aware of your discomfort. If not, follow this adage (my own) – “Walking solo is better than jumping onto a “norms” bandwagon blindly.”

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Social Media FriendsForEver

Social media! A boon or bane has been a topic for discussion and debate in schools, universities, amoung friends and families and, through all transmission channels including, social media platforms. Most term it a “nuisance”, considering how much everyone including those who term it a problem as well are hooked to it these days. It’s quite humorous. Each generation has made it a part of their life. Youngsters and oldies alike. Yet, it has been the bone of contention ever since smartphones made their entry into the reel world. 

However, have you ever thought of making friends with it? Ever thought of the advantages of social media? What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear about social media? Perhaps…making friends. Anything else that you associate with social media?

These days there are digital content creators. I am sure you will find this term familiar if you are an Instagram, Facebook, TikTok user. Ever since Instagram gave an option to start twin accounts (a professional account with a personal account), many are using the platform effectively to promote their business and holding workshops too for beginners. Entrepreneurs, and food bloggers are growing steadily now thanks to their popular reels that promote their business. Slowly a lot of work-from-home mothers are creating a business base through Facebook and Instagram. After Tiktok, Instagram is the next biggest phenomenon now – dancers, sportsmen, fitness enthusiasts, bakers, chefs, food and travel bloggers, photographers, and even academics all use these platforms too present their work. 

Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, Whatsapp, Bumble, and many social media platforms have become a means for people to express themselves, network, and get more followers as well. A lot of businesses are thriving on social media platforms. There are even workshops that I spotted on the world wide web which say they will help guide and train people to create perfect professional profiles on social media. Digital marketing courses are being offered to teach entrepreneurs and business heads how to promote themselves effectively on social media. 

Content has become king all of a sudden. It has gained importance and social media has become a hub for content creators. So uniquely, there are people who do not have a communication background but show interest to learn how social media operates in enhancing business structures. 

Let me just say this out loud. Those who are in a predicament about joining social media or are shying away from it guessing it will distract or preoccupy them from their work or important things, it’s time to change that assumption. It has been one of the myths perpetuated about social media. True, social media do get people disconnected from the physical world. The initial aim of social media like Orkut and other chat applications like Yahoo and MSN was to create room for connection, connect with fellow classmates, friend finding and to connect with long lost mates. Since then change was massive and the evolution of social media and the purpose of it has been astonishing, bitter sweet and it’s still evolving.

After Facebook’s official entry in 2005 on the world wide web (after he purchased domain rights), Mark Zuckerberg revolutionized and changed the definitions of socializing. To begin with, it was uniting school and college mates across the globe. Then he added more features to Facebook where people could connect professionally as well. Artists, celebrities and other industry people could access and give access to the the public easily since all profiles were public in the beginning. Eventually, privacy settings were enhanced to stop spammers and cyber criminals. All in all, it ended up benefiting a lot of businesses. 

As much as people thought Facebook and other social media platforms were just keeping people hooked to the virtual world, it has been proven that people did step off their screens and meet people with whom they have been interacting virtually. A lot of offline webinars, conferences, summits, and meetings have united people across borders – those who wouldn’t have met if social media did not exist. 

While the pre-social media era had people traveling across the country and globe as well to meet and network, social media platforms gave wider access to people seeking active networking. 

As they say, “Great minds think alike”, there are many like minds who have founded virtual organizations with teams sitting across the globe. And mind you, it isn’t entirely virtual as you would imagine – multiple screens where people look at each other through them. These teams have regular quarterly to annual meets physically in commonly decided destinations. 

SOME COMMON MYTHS ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA

1. Addictive. 
(All is good when used in moderation.)
2. Only for dating. 
(You can also sell and buy products, start business, promote business and more)
3. Increase in cyber crimes in the virtual world; privacy easily compromised on social media. 
(Be aware of your rights and learn about social media privacy settings in all platform you use.)
4. You have to create multiple posts a day to keep your profile active. 
(It all depends on your product or your need.)
5. “Followers” are often bought. 
(Fake accounts and bots are always found in the end and booted out of all platforms. If you know an account is fake or is a bot, you can always make a complaint.)
6. Data rigged on social media for campaigns. 
(Early on it was an issue and now all social media platforms are working hard to curb this issue.)
7. You need to click a “like” on every post on social media. 
(No, you can just scroll past any post without liking or sharing. It would be nice though if you do like, share and subscribe to pages and people you like. Only if you have real interest. Choice is yours.)
8. You have to accept friend requests from one and all.
(It's a NO.)

HOW IS SOCIAL MEDIA YOUR #FRIENDSFOREVER

1. If used in moderation and timed, it is not addictive.

2. It can be used for things other than finding a friend; an effective communication tool.

3. An active cyber crime station in every city now has increased awareness about perpetrators and scammers in the virtual world. Besides, the privacy settings on all social media platforms have been enhanced now. One can even report anonymously.

4. For effective communication, posts can be minimized and timed well – there is a time when the virtual audience is most active in the day/night. So, you can choose that time to post content. You need not be online all day!

5. Followers cannot be “bought” like voters. If someone doesn’t like you, they have an option of “unfollowing” you as well. 

6. Similarly, data and figures can be screened through special applications and computer programs. Hence, you cannot show false data for social media campaigns.

7. You have a choice to restrict your friend list. You need not add “friends of friends of friends of friends of friends” – whom you haven’t even seen or met! Regular detox will keep scammers at bay too!

8. Social media is one place where you will not be judged and you can vent as you, please (your profile, your space!). So, whenever you feel low, you can write/journal there for your friends to see. Many “suicides” have been prevented after a friend has spotted depressing notes or posts of their friend on social media profiles. Peers can instantly call and cheer them up! 

9. Great campaigns have been born on social media. Many changes in governments and social fabric have been seen thanks to awareness spread through social media posts.

10. A banter in your chat room is enough to destress you at the end of the day. Of course, you can time your sessions on chat groups too. 

So, social media isn’t as much of a villain as it has been portrayed to be. It is a haven for even non-social beings. It is not that you have to compulsorily socialize if you are on social media but you can use it as an effective tool to communicate and speak your mind out. Anything in excess as they say is bad but if used effectively, “it can indeed change your life” (referring to old ads that ran on television).

Signing off as usual with a quote by a famous social media marketing director Mike DiLorenzo: “Social media networks aren’t about websites. They’re about experiences”. #socialmedia #friendsforever #world

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Rock The Cradle Rule The World

“Women are women’s worst enemies” is perhaps an old tagline resold in new wine bottles aka memes and TV soaps. I am sure most of you agree with this. We have all experienced conflicts at the workplace and even with families. Most attribute the source to women. Be it a fight between two women or two families, it is consistently the woman who is blamed. But it is also a woman who can do the reversal of what has been said. I believe we can be better and be the best for each other.

What about women in leadership roles? How do you think she can uplift others to climb the ladder? Many of us are tuned to think that once women enter leadership positions and roles, they will forget the team. But what people don’t realize is that these same women have the power to lead teams and conglomerates up the graph, and positively as well. They have the power to influence the minds and the women around them. In other words, women can support each other and influence the workplace. 

A good team will have a healthy man-woman ratio. During the times when a woman who is in a principal leadership role is unable to meet her deadline, I have noticed other colleagues pitching in, helping and supporting them in reaching deadlines. Likewise, I have seen bosses being extremely supportive when teammates are falling behind schedules. Exceptional cases are there where women do try and bring other women teammates down to get a promotion. More empowered women are taking initiative in carrying the whole team with them. As the saying goes, ’empowered women empower women.’

As a woman, have you recently been side-lined from a project? Or been asked to step off a managerial position? Or been given a poor appraisal despite achieving top targets? If you have faced any of these, it isn’t surprising! We live in a very competitive world. Gender equality is still debated, the same pay is still disputed and for sure, women have it hard. Of course, it is the stern truth. Also, opposite genders do find opposite genders competitive and at times threatening and intimidating too, be it at the workplace or even on the family front. Many can’t handle a colleague or a family member who does it all or make it happen. I believe women possess the same efficiency as any other gender when it comes to managing, running, or directing, be it a company, corporation, or conglomerate. If the right chance, work environment, and equal rights and equal pay too are provided, women can excel in ways one cannot fathom.

Women have the following unique selling points that help them achieve good work productivity – good at the social front, strong in networking, have a great growth trajectory, good at positive mentoring, ability to don multiple roles, and have a good vision. Above all, a woman can develop a good blueprint for the organisations growth if mentored and uplifted generously. Hitting the glass ceiling and breaking it has made women reach higher roles in institutions and top MNCs in the world. 

Just have a look at the great global leaders who have been featured in the global leadership and financial indexes. From former C.E.O. of PepsiCo, Indra Nooyi, Former Chancellor of Germany, Angela Merkel, Vice President of the United States, Kamala Harris, Prime Minister of New Zealand, Jacinda Ardern, and to current Global C.E.O of Channel, Leena Nair and many more women at top posts have proven that positive outlook and mentoring can take you to the top. 

All of us have a good leader in us but most of us choose to be followers. This is also thanks to the years of conditioning that have gone into convincing women to leave leadership roles to men. Adding stereotypes to the above line that have been perpetuated over the years too. No comparison or putting men down in any way or doubting their leadership skills. I am just trying to make a point that women too can be good leaders if given the opportunity. 

So, let me ask, what are the good markers of a robust leader? Here it is, listen up, if you have the following traits, you are a future leader. 

Strike a good work-life balance
Inclusive at work
Strong Teamwork
Effective work management skills
Great Communicators
Love facing challenges
Good at dreaming big
Effective crises management
Don multiple hats
High E.Q.s (Emotional Quotient)
Going against conventions and leading by example

Just work hard and you will make it. As much as people will find it hard to accept, a woman can display her aptitudes when she is tossed into a crisis as well. Right from heading small cottage industries to NGOs or even conglomerates and nations, they have proven that if given the chance, they will excel! They aren’t the ones to run away (barring the scamsters who am not referring to!) from hard work. Just look at some of the top females recognized in global leadership. 

Kamala Harris, Vice President of the United States, Radhika Jones, Editor-in-Chief of Vanity Fair, Kathrin Jansen, Head of Vaccine Research and Development at Pfizer, Whitney Wolfe Herd, Founder and CEO of Bumble, Maria Eitel, Founder and Chair of the Nike Foundation and Girl Effect, Jacinda Ardern, Prime Minister of New Zealand, Melanie Perkins, Co-Founder and CEO of Canva, Christine Lagarde, President of European Central Bank, Sonia Syngal, President and CEO of Gap, Falguni Nayar, Founder & CEO, Nykaa ranked among the Forbes most powerful women in 2021, and Samia Suluhu Hassan, the newly elected President of Tanzania, we have plenty to look up to. There are many SHeroes, we just have to look around. These women are inspiring.

Going by the adage “Hum Kisise Kam Nahi”, (I am not lesser than anyone) women should keep moving forward and achieve greater heights. Nothing should stop you from shattering glass ceilings and all the interconnected myths to it. Women can be and are the biggest strength for each other. So, bust the myths and excel! Keep supporting one another!

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A Chai Lovers Soliloquy

My love story with chai goes back to my scholar days in Kerala. I was doing my study in journalism & tea became an indispensable part of our routine – morning, post lunch, evening, and even a midnight tea session at times. We had a cozy ‘chaya kada’ (tea shop) where we went during our gaps. 

I experienced and tasted Sulaimani chai, a Malabar spiced tea influenced by and origins in the Arab nations, for the first time during my days in Kerala. Available in all tea shops there. This magical mixture is tea boiled with spices like cardamom, cloves, ginger, tea leaves, or tea dust. No milk was added. A generous squirt of lemon in the tea completed the brew. It is regarded as a good digestive after meals. Once in a while, we also had the regular chaya with kadi (tea with snacks/savouries) at tea time. Sulaimani became my regular drink when I shifted to Bangalore (fondly called namma Bengaluru). I have very fond memories of gathering every night (almost midnight) after our shifts at this small outlet near our office to have Sulaimani. Sadly, I had to leave Bangalore too. 

My next (and almost second home – spent 15 golden years there) destination, Delhi. The chai tapris (street stalls) there became my new hangout zones. I found my chai tribe here as well. Winters became extremely unique for me. The heady smoky cigarette air mingled with the smells of the brewing tea stirred a young journalistic mind. Most of my story ideas were brewed along with the chaiwala’s chai. Having spent half my youth in Delhi, I can vouch that chai is a culture and a way of life there.

A go-to-beverage for every Indian as they wake up! Every city has a distinct chai culture. Locals will always vouch for their city’s tea to be the best too. Brews may change, and preparation techniques may vary but the flavour and aromas of chai leave one yearning for the next cup. There is a huge cultural dissimilarity in the chai prepared in the north, south, east, and west. 

Chai has also been an ice breaker, be at a gathering, at official meetings – those crucial junctures when the discussion goes tangent with your brains and eyelids start shutting, that knock on the door saying “tea ready” opens every shut-eye. 

Anyone in the creative domain will testify for chai too. Any brainstorming session demands chai to stir the senses. Each drop of tea is said to stimulate and revive the brain. Good old writers sat in tea shops to start a book or article. Tea inspired them to write more. Cups of tea piled up on the table till the end of the day.

India has a sizeable tea as well as a coffee drinking population. Both groups have constant banter and discussion over which brew is the best. The discussion often enters the domain of “Coffee-Toffee…the argument continues” (a good old Doordarshan ad on a chocolate brand). Truly, no conclusion has been found yet regarding which brew wins hands down first. As they say, the excess of any of these drinks is bad, a chai lover often proudly flaunts even a doctor’s statement as a medical certificate, certifying chai is good for health. Yes, even medical practitioners are biased towards chai!

The 80s and 90s generation will have scores of tea memories – whether it was going to watch a movie in a theatre, a picnic, or any family gathering, a flask of hot chai (for adults) was an integral part of every get-together. The ‘Wah Taj’ popularized tea in all households. Other brands back then followed suit. 

Whether you go to the highest altitudes of the country or the coastline, chai is the first drink you will taste in every region you go. Coffee (according to chai lovers) remains a drink that came much later. And you will be surprised to know (chai lovers would know it) that it is brewed in different ways across the country – north, south, east, and west. Some teas have extra milk while some have less milk or even no milk. The way you brew chai determines the signature style of every region.

Recommended by chai connoisseurs, these are some of the best tea varieties in the country.

Darjeeling Tea

This tea leaf grows in the pristine hills of Kalimpong. Brew it using an infuser. Cultivated and processed in the Darjeeling or Kalimpong Districts in West Bengal, India, Darjeeling Tea tea is made from Camellia sinensis var. sinensis. These days you get leaves suitable for making not just black tea but also green, white, and oolong teas.

Assam Tea

A Black tea named after the region Assam, India from the plant Camellia sinensis var. assamica indigenous to Assam. It is known for its body, briskness, malty taste, and robust, radiant colour. A black tea brew made of tea leaves, which are grown at sea level. 

Masala chai

Masala chai contains seven primary ingredients. Of course first is water and then without a doubt tea leaves, milk, sugar. And the masala’s used for this aromatic chai are cardamom, black pepper, and ginger. This brew made of black tea leaves sometimes also has spices like cinnamon, cloves, and bay leaves too.

Kashmiri chai or Noon chai

A time-honored tea beverage with roots in Kashmir, pink tea is milky and light-colored, garnished with almonds and pistachios. Gulabi Tea as it is known is prepared from a type of green tea leaves or gun powder tea, milk, salt, and baking soda and is cooked in a samavar(a metal container to heat and boil water.).

Kashmiri Kahwah

A tea flavored with cinnamon, cardamom, and saffron, Kahwa Tea is Kashmiri beverage not to be missed. It is prepared in samovar. It is green tea served with chopped dry fruits. They include almonds, pistachios, and cashew nuts.

Butter tea

Created from stirring tea, salt, and yak butter, Po Tea or Butter tea is surprisingly good for your health. It is said to improve vitality, help radiate your skin, be better for digestion, improve mental function, quash hunger, and control dehydration. Known as Po cha, it is a chai widely available in Ladakh, Sikkim, and Arunachal Pradesh. It is brewed using regular tea leaves, yak butter, or even butter made from cow’s milk, water, and salt. It has it origin in Tibet.

Irani chai

Irani Chai is a sweet and creamy chai made by mixing mawa or khoya (dried evaporated milk solids) with black tea. At times spices like cinnamon and green cardamom added. It’s optional. It is a is a Persian-influenced tea. It is a creamy, brown colour milky tea and quite sweet. Available in Irani bakeries and very popular in the city of Hyderabad.

Amrutulya chai 

Boiled in brass pots, with an equal amount of water and milk, Amrutulya chai is loaded with sugar and spices. To give it the taste, crushed cardamom, ginger, dry ginger, pepper corns and more spices are added. The brass pot retain the heat and flavour is brilliant. The name has sanskrit origin meaning Nectar of immortality, the tea has its origin in Pune, Maharashtra. This chai is extremely famous in Pune. The chai masala is special – powder dry ginger with lightly roasted black peppercorn, white peppercorn and green cardamom, nutmeg.

Sulaimani chai

Mohabbat… love is the secret ingredient in Sulaimani chai, a Malabar tea. This no milk tea is widespread in Kerala and has it’s influence from persian and arab nations. The tea is brewed with assorted absolute spices in black tea powder. It is brewed till it gets the golden color. A squeeze of fresh lemon juice just before serving makes it super rejuvenating. This black tea is made with cinnamon, cardamom, cloves, and ginger with regular tea leaves.

Mumbai’s Cutting Chai

A popular half cup/glass chai in Mumbai, brewed lovingly with fresh ground elaichi, saunf, lemongrass, or ginger. In Mumbai, ‘Cutting Chai’ is half a cup of tea. Tea is life and, in Mumbai people drink more than three cups. Hence ‘Cutting Chai’ makes sense, small portion, flavourful and fragrant. This concoction is made with tea leaves, ginger, cardamom or any other available or suitable spices with milk.

So, I sign off, going to drink my next steaming cuppa chai and leave you with this popular meme to enjoy with your tea.
What is your blood group?
Tea positive!
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