Coping with Anger


When parents are angry, it is crucial to understand the underlying cause. Parents may feel overwhelmed and lack the resources or support to manage their emotions. Showing empathy and understanding can help de-escalate the situation. It is also essential to give them space and time to cool off and return to the conversation in a calmer state. 

If the anger becomes too intense or threatening, it is vital to seek professional help.

If you suspect a child is out of control, the first step is to remain calm and provide a safe, secure environment for them to feel safe. Listening to the child and understanding what may be causing the anger is mandatory. If the child is feeling frustrated, talk to them calmly and in learning to help them identify and express their feelings. 
If the child is in danger of becoming violent, it is paramount to remove them from the situation and reach out to a mental health professional for further guidance.

Recommendations for comforting a child with anger issues 

1. Talk to your child:
Talk to your child calmly and openly about their feelings and help them identify the source of their anger. 

2. Create an outlet:
Encourage your child to express their anger healthily, such as through exercise, drawing, or writing. 

3. Model positive behaviour:
Show your child how to cope with their anger positively. 

4. Develop problem-solving skills:
Help your child learn how to solve problems without getting angry. 

5. Stay calm:
Try to stay calm and patient when your child is angry. 

6. Practice relaxation techniques:
Teach your child relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, visualisation, and mindfulness. 

7. Seek professional help:
If your child’s anger is out of control, consider seeking professional help.

Suggestions to calm an enraged parent 

1. Listen to their concerns:
Listen to the parent’s concerns without interruption and let them know you are taking them seriously. Show them respect and understanding. 

2. Remain calm:
Stay calm, and don’t take the parent’s anger personally. If you remain composed, it will be easier to address their concerns without getting emotional. 

3. Acknowledge their feelings:
Acknowledge the parent’s feelings by letting them know you understand their anger and frustration. 

4. Offer solutions to the problem that addresses the parent’s concerns.
Again, it can diffuse the situation and make the parent feel like their concerns are being taken seriously. 

5. Apologies for any mistakes that may have caused the parent’s anger and frustration. 

6. Stay positive:
Stay positive, and don’t be confrontational. Instead, try to find a solution with which both parties can be happy.

Tips to help heal the relationship between parents and children while keeping out anger 

1. Communicate openly and honestly.
Be sure to express your feelings and thoughts openly and respectfully. 

2. Take responsibility for your actions.
Do not blame your partner for any issues that arise in the relationship. 

3. Take time to cool off.
If you feel anger rising, take a few moments to step away and take some deep breaths. 

4. Avoid saying hurtful things.
Avoid saying things you can’t take back, even if you are angry. 

5. Find positive ways to express your feelings.
If you need to vent, find a healthy outlet like talking to a friend or writing in a journal. 

6. Practice forgiveness.
Making mistakes is okay, so practice forgiving your partner and yourself. 

7. Spend quality time together.
Make sure to spend time together doing things that you both enjoy. 

8. Seek professional help.
If you and your partner are having difficulty resolving issues, consider seeking professional help.

Please note in every section of tips shared, seeking professional help is suggested. This is not coincidental. This is intentional. The reason is that many of us fail to recognise anger in any form as we have either been raised with it or in it. A trained and qualified professional can help identify this and suggest remedial action to rectify it. 

Relationships between children and parents must be based on love and understanding, nurtured in acknowledgment and concern for each other’s well-being. Adding anger to the mix is like adding a sensor-triggered bomb and hoping everything will be fine. Good relationships do not need this! Instead, they function well on mutual respect and love. Parents set an example for their children. Children learn from their parents. Simple really!

Augustus Manohar Stanley is now serving his life’s calling as a full-time Educator and works in Karnataka. He loves creating short academic videos and is also a music enthusiast.

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