Things were excellent at the beginning of your courtship, and it was just the two of you. The colours were bright, the sun was nice and warm, and the rain was magical. Ah, this was life. Something went right! Few years after all the sparks and reasons to live and be together. All that magic is still there, maybe a little worn from wear. But it’s there. And then you had or heard the best news ever. That is if you always wanted kids. You were now going to be a parent! So there came the stork, dropped off your little bundle of joy, and the parenting began – feed times, nap times, bath times, and so forth.
All of a sudden, the only dates you had were doctor appointments or daycare, depending on your parenting style. Yet, somehow, that tiny little human of yours took all your time and owned it! I have been in that confused yet intrigued frame of mind.
Simply put, the family grew by two feet, but this doesn’t mean life then begins to move for you both as separate entities. So you are still together, work on making sure you still make or have time for each other. Every relationship needs that investment of time, care, and a little love.
Now, what are you going to do? There is no such thing at this point called ME TIME. The last time you had time to yourselves, it probably was to catch up on some badly needed sleep! Given you, both aren’t machines. However, you need to have some US TIME sans the baby.
Don’t worry, and all is not lost! Here are five tips to get romance and the magic back into your love life even while you have kids.
1. Get a good and reliable babysitter.
Ever since your little one was born, especially if you are a first-time parent like me. You just never let the baby out of your sight. Period! It sounds funny and may make you look paranoid; however, it is not easy to give your tiny little bundle of joy like that to anyone. Especially not in this day and era where it is nearly impossible to find someone who will look after your little one just as carefully and lovingly as you would. That is why finding a good and reliable babysitter is vital. Pick a person who treats your little one with the faithful love and care they need. If you are living in a large family, ask for help from a family member. Request their service if you have a family member willing to support you. And if you have a great circle of close, connected, reliable friends, reach out to them. Check with a friend who could spare a few hours to be a great babysitter.
2. Stay Connected
Even as you both steal some time away for your us time, stay connected. Either by phone or messages. However, let this be used only for emergencies. These do not include your sitter calling you for every little thing. Emergencies are emergencies, so always stay connected and be prepared to handle any if they come up. As mentioned in the previous point, a good sitter will allow you both to be in a relaxed frame of mind. So to enable you both to enjoy the time away.
3. Start Setting Date Nights Near Your Locality
During the initial date nights, plan to go to a place not too far from your home. The idea is to rekindle the romance in your life. So short drives that get you out, and just the two of you for a few hours is great. Of course, as the baby grows, you can increase time apart if needed. However, many parents I know mostly never take more than a few hours away from their little ones. It helps keep the little one and the parents in a superficial understanding or agreement that they will be out for a little while, only a few hours a week or a month. Enjoy your local shops and diners, make strong local relationships with people around your locality. Maybe you will meet new people, make new friends, get to know new parents…
4. Concentrate on Each Other
During your us time, focus on each other. Communicate, share, laugh, and take a breather. Rekindling a romance after kids is more manageable than we can admit. (depends on our surroundings and living situations also) Ensure this couple or us time reinforces the love and joy you both had before the little one came into your lives. As I mentioned, this is not time taken from your parenting time to drive a big wedge between you. It is time to bond and continue loving and supporting each other.
5. Keep At It & Do What is best for You
Remember, this is an ever-evolving process. Try to go with the flow. If you are people who like planned and structured outings, do that. Suppose you like spontaneous outings; do that. Do whatever it takes to balance your lives as partners and parents.
You must remember you both are the same two people who are partners as well as parents. So own this title, and have fun with it. But most of all rebuild your lives around your little one so that as the little one grows, our child will know exactly what it means to be in a healthy, affectionate, and well-rounded relationship.
Art of How To 