We are all caged in some way or the other. We are prisoners of our thoughts and ideas. We are warriors fighting for the liberation of our breaths. How cool would living in a world of radical ideas and liberated thoughts be? How awesome would it be to swoon among hearts that pave the way for a calmer society? How wonderful would it be not to be hindered by the constant societal and peer pressure?

In a way, isn’t it betraying ourselves by doing something we didn’t want to do by simply giving in to social pressures? Daily, whether we like it or not, we are affected by the influence that others have on us. This is evident in the cultural demands and aesthetic canons that tell us how to live if we want to be considered valid among the rest of the so-called “society.” We struggle to cope with social pressure even in our closest personal relationships. We all had to deal with peer pressure as early as school days.

How often have we agreed to plan an activity we didn’t want to partake in? How often have we said something we didn’t mean just to fit in or please others around us? What if I said that this is perfectly natural? This is because, at the end of the day, as a human, we are social beings. Hence we need to feel that we belong to a group to survive in this world. However, we might suffer unwanted significance if we don’t adequately manage this pressure.

When we give in to social pressure, we are disloyal to ourselves. We become muddled and feel uncomfortable. That’s because when we say something we don’t think or do something we don’t judge, we generate a dissonance that stops us from feeling alright.

However, setting boundaries, refusing, and contradicting others is not appealing and scary. We may fear being excluded, rejected, or judged – apt to the new age term – FOMO – Fear of Missing Out. On the other hand, if we give in to the desires of others, we feel guilty because we have betrayed ourselves.

Paradoxically, trying to please others can bring us problems on a social level. For instance, if we say we are going to do something we don’t want to do, we are likely to back down later, making us appear indecisive, irresponsible, and unreliable in the eyes of others. Indeed, our initial desire to please and avoid a conflict will turn against us, and we will face the exact consequences we were trying to avoid.

Social Pressure & How to Deal with It

Developing self-confidence is critical to dealing with social pressure. A confident person is hard to manipulate and hence stays strong in their character. Working on our self-esteem can be ideal for dealing with social anxiety and peer pressure. Self-love shows that we love ourselves; we validate and appreciate ourselves. No one except ourselves can get us to do something. On the other hand, if we feel insecure, fragile, and in need of others, it’s much more likely that we will end up giving in to social pressure – which is unhealthy in many ways.

Staying away from impulsive responses can help. If we act impulsively and respond without thinking, it’s probably our need to people-please! For this reason, it’s essential to take a few seconds to recall before answering any request, suggestion, or comment. Hopefully, in that time, we will realize that we were about to accept something we didn’t want, and we can change our decision accordingly.

Self-confident people don’t need this reflection period as they automatically consider their preferences. However, if we have been too accommodating to others for years, this moment can make a real difference and allow us to implement a new way of doing things and living life.

Most of us, keeping it gender biased, feel the need to justify our decisions, give explanations, or excuse ourselves when we don’t comply with what’s asked of us. A simple “no” doesn’t seem to be enough to us, and we offer justifications and excuses that, many times, aren’t even the real reason for us refusing something.

“I’d like to, but I can’t,” “I don’t have time,” “I’ll think about it, and I’ll tell you later.” Do these phrases sound familiar? If so, we must know that we have the right to say “no” and that our solutions and conclusions are valid and don’t require further grounds. This positively affects our development as an individual in society though people would prefer us not to know it.

Applying the above-said values will require a conscious effort on our part. We must cater to the needs and desires of our inner selves than please and make others around us happy. Only when we wholly appreciate ourselves can we understand the beauty of what is around us.

Dealing with social and peer pressure is a learning curve. We understand a lot about ourselves and what is happening around us. We learn and unlearn daily if we are sure to listen to our hearts. We must overcome the inertia of all those years when we were motivated by the desire to please others and the fear of rejection. However, with daily practice, it’ll get more accessible, and we will feel more satisfied with our work. How about starting right away?

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