It is so much fun to share a good laugh with your friends and family and, sometimes, just with yourself! Besides being fun and engaging, did you know that laughter is one of the essential parts of your life? It is vital to relieve you from any mental stress and crucial for your physical health and overall well-being. Laughing out loud can help you boost your immune system, strengthening you physically. Talking about laughter and how it enables you to maintain a healthy lifestyle also increases your mood and makes you emotionally intense. It is known as a powerful antidote for conflict and pain, easing mental pressure off you.

Laughing and having many health benefits also aids in developing a more positive personality. You can draw people towards you positively by being a joyful person. You can heal people and yourself with a peal of good laughter! The act lightens your burdens and mood, enlightens you deeper, inspires hope, keeps you more focused, and helps you forgive and forget easily.

Haha! The best part is that this beautiful medicine is free and easy to use! With abundant power to renew and heal, laughter mightily enhance your relationship with people and yourself! Laughter also helps defuse conflicts, strengthen teamwork, and promote group bonding, essential for social life. It is no joke that you can relieve your stress from laughter. Some giggles and guffaws are all you need to do you some good!

As cliché as ‘laughter is the best medicine’ sounds, it sure is a fact! Laughing releases feel-good endorphins in your body, keeping you happy! Happy you are the best version of yourself! Also, laughing out loud helps you burn calories – now you know what to add to your weight loss routine!

Depression is something people fight today. With immense work and lifestyle stress and pressure, depression has crept into the lives of many. Laughing and practicing to be happy consciously directly affects how you fight depression. It may not be easy, but it is worth giving a try.

Watching a happy, feel-good movie or a comedy show can help. Reading funny stories or lavishly joking with friends could help. Whatever enables you to laugh works best! How you would like to receive this joyous experience is up to you. Laughing is a natural reaction to feeling and being happy. It is a powerful and intense expression that is often contagious. Laughing does good for your physical and mental health and creates a positive energy and aura around you. You will unintentionally touch the lives of others by being a vibrant person yourself.

According to Norwegian research, people with a good sense of humour outlive others who don’t laugh nearly as much – laughter can prolong your life! Sounds interesting. Especially for patients with chronic diseases, the results of laughing out loud were startling! Laughing is an expression God has instilled in each one. You don’t need a reason to laugh. You may have laughed your lungs out for no significant reason as a kid. As you grow up and life hits you hard, humor, laughter, and finding joy in little things all vanish. As an adult, you are often drowned in your daily routine and the stresses of work and so on. It is not as usual you get to share a good laugh with someone. It is alright. You are not alone. However, it is essential to take some time off those stresses and laugh your heart out. It can drastically change the way you perceive things! You will become more open to newness and will be able to welcome challenges and be more optimistic. You will focus better and perform better. You will be able to weigh what is important and what is not.

You will find a way when it is difficult to do so. Being happy and finding joy in the little things in life completes you as a person. Being content is one of the most significant gifts you can give yourself. Being joyful and happy is priceless. Your hustle and success are only worth a dime if you are content and comfortable at the end of the day!

Laugh out loud because you deserve it. Laugh out loud because you can! Laugh out loud because it is the right way to live. Laugh out loud because you can inspire many more to do so. Laugh out loud because you are born to live and live happily!

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Aakanksha Dinah, a passionate writer, orator, communicator focused on establishing a Training institution centered on creativity and innovation. Aakanksha is a true believer in loving the work we do and strongly believes in smart-work, the reason why creativity works better for her. Aakanksha is enormously focused on making a career in professional writing and publishing. She loves writing poems, self-help articles, and essays. An enthusiast when it comes to learning languages and in short, Aakanksha is a wanderer, an explorer, a mom, a dog-mom, a poet, a cook, a writer, and an influencer.

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August has always been so fulfilling and joyous for me because, to each person, their birth month is particular. By the end of July, my excitement would soar about turning a year older and anticipating all the celebrations that would take me through the day. That was until I turned twenty-five. Then, it dawned upon me that childhood and its naiveness must peel out its layers. For the last five years, I have barely felt any excitement about my birthday, at least not on that day. And then, precisely two years ago, I spent nearly 20 days of my supposedly favourite month in the hospital ICU tending to my ailing father.

With a strong memory of each day I spent walking through that door, even at non-visitor hours, August just started piercing more and more. I remember my birthday with the darkest thoughts coming over me, when I went with evening soup for him and the electricity went off. As the fire alarm beeped every three seconds, I felt trapped inside, already imagining the worst. Back then, my phone had beeped with yet another text, “Happy Birthday, have a great one,” that snapped me out of that dark hole. The lights were
back on 10 minutes later, but I still felt blinded by where my thoughts had led me.

My father had spoken two sentences to me that day. Of course, he did not remember it was my birthday after a brain hemorrhage, and I did not feel the need to remind him. He asked about the doctor’s visit before the heavy medication dozed him off. So, his last birthday wish was technically three years ago. August, which gave me some of my happiest memories of friendship day and birthday celebrations, also took my strength away.

This month, this year marks my father’s second death anniversary. These two years went by without seeing him, hearing his voice, receiving his texts, or fighting with him have whizzed past, but not without leaving me lonely for many days. It is interesting how grief has such a strong hold over you that it can really shake up the fond, happy memories of almost 30 years you shared to take place as a stinging replacement.

Grief doesn’t take time to settle in. It just arrives and stays with you. It almost becomes a part of your emotions; it sits behind on most days. But on days when you feel low, it comes forward to take you to a phase where you have been sadder. All it needs is a minute trigger of your negative mind space, and it instantly offers an unwanted company. The real struggle is now navigating your way out from your initial trigger and unlatching the grief alongside.

Things going bad at work, having a fight with your spouse, messing something up, and your grief starts convincing you – that this could have been avoided had the person you lost been alongside you. Your logical mind knows this is your mind playing with you, and you let it. You start missing them, the tears flow, and you wonder how they persuaded you today. This is especially true in the case of losing parents.

One thing I’ve learned with my ways of dealing with grief is that you won’t always have the support you thought you would. And on most days, it is YOUR battle. And alone.

The loss is personal, so you should find your shield to protect it from forbearing it on others. Because others may or may not have had their grief encounters yet, their convincing attempts with, “Whatever happened, happened for good,” “He was suffering, it was what he wanted to,” “Stop crying over it, he won’t like it” and so on feel so lackluster and sick.

It has been two years, and people expect things to improve for me. It can make the bearer feel they are falling behind because it has been ‘x’ number of ‘years.’ I know they are, but it is my road to progress, and you cannot measure it in the bulk of 365 days.

The absence of the person does not feel physical but emotional. The loneliness intensifies before it starts lessening. Your grief has got you on a new terrain, and you must walk the path back, leaving the suffering aside and retaking the lonely road. This differs from the road you have been on; it comes with ridges, downward slopes, and upward trails. This is no less than a trek of emotions.

August – I remember most days that were spent speaking to doctors, running around for test results, seeking second/third opinions, having hard conversations with other family members, and the exhaustion of being the first bearer of the eventual bad news to come. I also remember wearing party hats, dressing special, cutting cakes, smiling through pictures, and leaning to seek my parents’ blessings, only to be held by my father midway and hugged.

He would say, “My blessings are always with you.” This rings true as he now blesses me from his abode above. Grief will make you walk this lonely road because you are supposed to be here alone. Only you can take your road to recovery back.

——

Writer by day, an overthinker by night. I let my thoughts flow through my writing. As a definite misfit, I let my words speak louder than my actions. Welcome to my journey of sailing through emotions and experiences, with words as my paddles.

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Much like an ever-evolving canvas, life can be beautiful and challenging. One of the most daunting challenges we may encounter on this journey is the painful experience of a break-up. It’s a universal truth that heartbreak is an inevitable part of life, but how we frame and navigate our lives after a break-up can significantly impact our growth and happiness. In this blog post, we will explore the art of crafting life after a break-up, discovering how to turn this emotional turmoil into an opportunity for personal transformation and rediscovery.

1. Acknowledge the Pain

The first step in framing life after a break-up is to acknowledge the pain and heartache. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that are valid and essential to the healing process. Cry, vent, or seek support from friends and family. Embrace vulnerability, as it is through acknowledging our emotions, that we can start healing and rebuilding.

2. Reflect and Learn

Amidst the pain, reflect on the relationship and the breakup. Understand that every relationship serves a purpose, and despite the ending, there were valuable lessons to be learned. Reflect on your growth and how the relationship has shaped you. Learning from past experiences can help us make better choices in the future.

3. Rediscover Yourself

After a break-up, losing sight of our individuality amid shared experiences is easy. Now is the perfect time to rediscover yourself. Engage in activities that bring you joy, pursue hobbies, and spend time with friends who uplift you. Embrace your passions and interests, allowing them to guide you towards a stronger sense of self.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

During this healing process, be kind to yourself. Practice self-compassion and avoid self-criticism. Understand that healing takes time, and there is no “right” way to recover. Treat yourself with the same love and care you would offer a friend going through a difficult time.

5. Letting Go of Bitterness

Resentment and bitterness can keep us emotionally tied to the past. To frame a brighter future, letting go of these negative emotions is essential. Forgiving doesn’t mean condoning past hurt, but it does free us from carrying the burden of anger. As the saying goes, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

6. Focus on Personal Growth

Embrace this period as an opportunity for personal growth and self-improvement. Set new goals, explore different experiences, and challenge yourself. Whether pursuing further education, traveling, or adopting a healthier lifestyle, focusing on your growth will bring a renewed sense of purpose.

7. Surround Yourself with Positivity

Surround yourself with positive influences, whether supportive friends, family, or motivational literature. Negativity can hinder the healing process, so aim to build an uplifting support system that encourages your journey of self-discovery.

Framing life after a break-up is an art that requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to embrace change. It’s essential to remember that healing is not linear; there will be ups and downs, good and bad days. But just like an artist creates a masterpiece from a blank canvas, we have the power to create a fulfilling and beautiful life after a break-up. By acknowledging our emotions, learning from the past, rediscovering ourselves, practicing self-compassion, and focusing on personal growth, we can emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever. Embrace the process and trust that your canvas of life will evolve into something truly remarkable.

——

Chippy is a dreamer and optimist. She believes, we become what we hope, aspire, dream to be and knows how to make a dream or two happen. Seventeen years of experience, struggling, winning, failing, succeeding and failing again and making it, she knows what it takes to build a successful project, a business, and what it means by starting from the bottom up. It takes determination, dedication, and direction and that’s why her mission is to ‘step up & inspire.’

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Every one of us has one dear memory of our favorite summer vacations. For some, it’s the beach; for some, within the mountains; for others, it’s just running around in the courtyard of their humble native homes. Summer vacations are the first trips we take with our family, with no worries about itineraries because they have mapped the routes, distances, accommodations, and everything. You craft memories, you have captured some on a film camera, you look them up once in a while and relive the good old days. But, then, years pass; you all grow up, you lose some family members, and things are not the same again.

My favorite summer days have been spent exploring the beaches in our native town with my late father. The connections he made with the locals here over the years transformed into thicker-than-blood relatives. From special course meals to trips into the sea, we enjoyed the ‘privileges’ of his ability to form such special bonds. We don’t own a native home, but we have people here who make us feel we are home. He almost had a distant family here, which took care of his ailments when he visited solo. Unfortunately, the conditions eventually got the better of him, and he left on his journey.

This May, I took a trip with my family to the same place, knowing that it won’t be easy for us, especially for my mother and me. We have spent some of the best moments here, and knowing that we won’t get to relive it again creates a more bottomless void than we already experience.
But our healing journey needs such prickly moments to make you realize what you had and that you will always hold it dear to you. My mother and I sat by the beach every evening, saying not many words but only narrating to one another the little moments we remember spending here with my father. He was an ardent beach lover who spent hours along the coast. On his last few visits, he would only express sitting by the seaside bench to hear the waves because his vision diminished. In his process to prepare us, he had told my mother, “Let my ashes free into the closest ocean, and I know I will reach where I belong.”

We couldn’t visit here since the pandemic, but when we walked into the same hotel last month, the owners expressed they don’t feel he is gone. Instead, they say he might come and stay with them again. I don’t even have the exact words, but it felt like a reassurance that he is just around somewhere. We ensured we met or at least spoke to all the relations he had formed among the locals, and everyone was happy to see us back. My mother couldn’t stop recalling how they would spend their days here. While I feared she would spiral into the pit of his memories, I realized it gives her happiness to remember him fondly and brings a smile.

Grieving takes different forms, and reminiscing the memories is one of the most common ways. While you may delve into it, you must also hold on to them as your anchor to move forward. If you have lost someone close to you, visit the places you have been with them. It will be challenging but eventually comfort you like an invisible hug. Like how this ocean did to me. You cannot recreate the same memories again, but now you appreciate them as your best time ever.

You can never bring back the dead, but you can always live the way they taught you. My father told me never to be scared of the ocean, to hold my ground with my toes tucked deep into the sand, to fall, rise, and face the water with a smile. But, what he also permeated was a lesson for life.

Grieving gets tougher on some days and simpler on others. On some days, it is both. You cannot even choose a side to it. You must remember that healing is not your journey alone but of those who are just as immediately close to the departed member. Someone has lost their son, someone their husband, someone their father, and someone their best friend. Heal with them, and hold their hand when you visit the places that bring back their memories. It is a rugged closure but refreshing to see them alive in your memories.

——

Writer by day, an overthinker by night. I let my thoughts flow through my writing. As a definite misfit, I let my words speak louder than my actions. Welcome to my journey of sailing through emotions and experiences, with words as my paddles.

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I started understanding grief and realised the different stages of grieving after losing someone from my immediate family. But that did not mean I had not grieved before.

Growing up as a pet-owning family, we raised over eight dogs. The death of every pet we had over the years made me feel lost and angry. I could understand it better because people around me did not seem so affected, and I had to keep up. When you lose a person, you find a lot of support from family and friends, but if you lose a pet, people, unfortunately, do not know what it is. They even quip, So what? It was going to die someday! It was very matter-of-factly presented to me that pets do not live forever and have a shorter life span than humans.

I recall losing my first dog when I was a 14-year-old. I cried. But a few days later, it was my then-best friend’s birthday, so I even forgot about my grief. As another dog entered my life, my love for it grew stronger and stronger. I did not realise that someday I would bid goodbye to this one too. And I did. The cycle continued with six more pets, and I somehow overcame it. Some days, I would cry to bed, looking at their old photos and wishing how tall they had grown today. But I knew that as my parents grew older, I would not have been able to take care of everything with work all by myself.

It was until my last dog, who lived her whole life of 13 years with us, chose to depart at the same time that my father was admitted for the final time to the hospital. Our hopes were vanishing, and her death felt like she was preparing us for what was coming next. Coming to
terms with her did not feel right because she managed to take her Master (my father) precisely a week later.

The loss of a pet is so undermined that grieving for it feels weird. Since not every second person is a pet owner, they do not understand the attachment you share with a non-human. About a decade ago, having pets meant privilege in some families. Not everybody was comfortable with the idea that a dog is your family. Thankfully, that has changed for good. So when a pet passed away, the kind of treatment meted out was like, Sorry for your loss; it will happen someday.

In such situations, acceptance comes naturally, even if you want to resist it. However, the lows post losing a pet are more profound and longer because few people understand your feelings. If someone cannot relate to your situation, they cannot console you. The loss of a pet is thus more of a lone battle. You miss their presence around. You look at their chewy toy and wonder if you throw it, will they somehow come back to fetch it? You want to hear their sound but need help to. When I was growing up, I did not have a lot of photos of my pets to look back at. Phones with cameras did not exist.

Thankfully, in current times, you will have many memories occupying the space on your smartphones. You can always look back on them. You have funny videos of their tactics and some doing nothing at all. It all sparks such joy until you realise it is only what you have left of them.

Grieving a pet is very similar to grieving a person. The stages and the feelings do not discriminate if it is an animal or a human. There is nothing to be ashamed of it. But, unfortunately, today, not all relationships can help you develop that sense of trust, comfort, and loyalty you can experience with a pet.

There is enough research to prove how pets help people’s mental well-being by keeping them in a comfortable, upbeat mood. So when you do not have them around anymore, it is bound to trigger intense reactions of sadness.

One thing that can help you move forward is keeping people from telling you how to feel about it. It was just a cat/dog. You can get a new one is the most dismissive approach that can come your way. We are now a society that is more accepting of pets as family members and have thus progressed to sharing the loss with comfort.

Today, I do not own a pet, but I still have a particular attachment to pets on social media. So I watch these dog and cat videos whenever I force myself to smile.

Back of my mind, what if I see a sombre post from their owner about their demise? I am going to cry again, too, probably. But this time, I will be reminded of grief and why it is valid to feel it – for a human or a four-legged creature. To all my beloved pets I have lost over the years – we have a sticker over the kitchen wall and named the birds after my dogs. It again may sound silly to many, but you know what? It gives me a little comfort to have it around.

——

Writer by day, an overthinker by night. I let my thoughts flow through my writing. As a definite misfit, I let my words speak louder than my actions. Welcome to my journey of sailing through emotions and experiences, with words as my paddles.

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On Head and In Life

I went shopping for a handbag the other day in an all-in-one store, and while I passed the cosmetic section, the lady said, “Ma’am, any makeup?” I nodded a No (not the Indian nod, the proper nod for a No), and as I walked ahead, she quipped, “Ma’am, any mehndi-based natural colour for your hair?” I didn’t feel the need to acknowledge her and walked straight ahead to the bags section. I wish I could have retorted, “No, I love how it is!”

Growing up as girls, we tend to look in the mirror far more often, every time conscious of our looks, at least a bit, if not wholly. So when the first strand of grey hair appears, we silently curse or instinctively pluck it. But then the not-so-golden words of a distant aunt start ringing in, “The more you pluck your grey hair, the more will appear.” And guess what? They do!

No one discusses the problematic narrative of how ladies at the parlour give unsolicited advice about one’s skin and hair. Why can’t you do my eyebrows and let me go instead of going on and on about my blackhead and tanned skin? Please don’t try to sell me your organic facial and natural hair serums. I am right now just trying to keep my eyebrows in one consistent shape.

Unasked opinions often fuel our biggest insecurities about body image, skin tan, and thinning hair. Body positivity and changing beauty standards are active conversations on social media, but they do not reach the grass root levels of what begins them. Being kind customers, we politely ignore the comments from the parlour lady. We do not try explaining to them that these statements could play along in the mind when you have walked past the door. You return home and look in the mirror, closely observing your blackheads, wondering if you should have just finished the facial. You should have booked an appointment for a mehndi application too.

Grey hair has been stigmatised, especially in our country, as you’re becoming old! However, it’s another reason for stress if you are in your mid-20s and have grey hair. “You are not even 40. What tension do you have?” the questions come in every time you meet someone who can see your prominent greys.

The core of this problem is the sheer negligence of understanding that lifestyles have changed, hormones are acting up, and hair turning grey is entirely natural and based on one’s genetic makeup! No amount of applying dyes and root touch-ups could alter that.

Today, I have a lot of grey hair, but I, too, had my share of insecurities with them, trying to hide them under the crown, changing my partition, and so on. As a result, I coloured them just once, a couple of years ago, when I was to be a bride. But I am happy to report that a few pictures from my wedding still show my grey hair, but my smile is the brightest.

Even today, when I visit the local parlour, the lady asks me, “Don’t you do anything to your hair?” I quip, “Because I learned that acceptance is cheaper than repeated hair treatments.” But I am lucky enough to have a hairdresser who, on my first visit, told me, your greys and hair texture are beautiful. You should rock it! Along with busting a few myths about greying hair, I walked out of the salon with confidence that greys are fashionable. People out there pay to get their hair done grey, and I am transforming it for free.

When we learn our lessons through life, we know it cannot be painted in black and white alone. We all have moments of greys, where some good and not-so-good things coexist. If we try to compartmentalise everything into set structures, then how are we different from the archaic norms?

We all adapt to accept the grey moments in our life, so how about we become more accepting
towards grey hair too? This recent tweet I read about greying hair has stuck with me as a solace of acceptance:

It is ultimately the comfort of knowing that I am embracing the natural which empowers me every time I see a new grey on my head. If you are someone who has been hiding them for too long, it may be time to show off a bit. We have been behind makeup foundations and facials for a while. So let’s let our hair be loose and grey.

——

Writer by day, an overthinker by night. I let my thoughts flow through my writing. As a definite misfit, I let my words speak louder than my actions. Welcome to my journey of sailing through emotions and experiences, with words as my paddles.

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